[2026/01/04 14:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: So... you blundered through the chronomage cottage, survived the caroling orcs, and made it to Glacern, deep in the disconten of angry sign-holding dwarves
[2026/01/04 14:10] Sapphire: what do the signs say?
[2026/01/04 14:10] Mecha: blundered is a harsh word, but kinda fair
[2026/01/04 14:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: There's been mysterious booming sounds, a rather large exploded egg, and a farmer who had his crop of turnips et
[2026/01/04 14:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: all in all, this is one job you probably are going to regret for a long time to come
[2026/01/04 14:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: Having the druid cast a protective spell on you seems a good trade for whatever job -she- has in mind for you, but at least you got the assurance that the dwarves' iron tube is at the end of it.
[2026/01/04 14:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: And with that recap outta the way, GGGRRREEEETTTTIIINNNGGGGSSSS Adventurers! Other players get good D&D games, you get... whatever the frick this is!
[2026/01/04 14:14] Sapphire: "I've changed my mind. I want the fancy brandy at the end of this," Bluebell mumbles under her breath.
[2026/01/04 14:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: As you agree to the druids' magic spell... Outside the village, a long line of bright red wagons approach, lit by lanterns, piled with bulging sacks. The children run out of the village to meet the wagons, shouting excitedly. There's music playing, a joyful song sung by the elves who are driving the wagons.
[2026/01/04 14:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: "Lanterns glow along the road,
Snowflakes dance where hedges bow,
Hush now - listen! Hooves in time...
The Winter Caravan’s in line!"

"Ooooh, the caravan rolls tonight -
Bright as stars, and twice as light!
Gifts and wonders packed with care,
Bringing joy from... somewhere?"

"Wrapped-up secrets, tied with thread,
Magic hums in green and red,
Friendly folk are on their way...
Just.. maybe don’t stand in the sleigh."

"Yes, the caravan rolls tonight -
Warm your hearts and hold on tight!
Soon you’ll hear that jingle-call...
Winter’s gifts for one and all!"
[2026/01/04 14:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me waits for you to catch up on this -awesome- scene
[2026/01/04 14:18] Jassie: (reading lol)
[2026/01/04 14:18] Joe: whispers: observes in wonderment at the bizarre spectacle and customs of the local folks
[2026/01/04 14:18] Sapphire: Bluebell finds herself clapping in time with the song, one she grew up with
[2026/01/04 14:18] Jassie: /me claps hands in jo to the song!
[2026/01/04 14:18] Jassie: joy*
[2026/01/04 14:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: Meanwhile, Hollysheaf the Evergreen boops each hero on the nose with a sprig of holly, and POOF - weapons transform with sparkles and a little bell-jingle. Weapons turn into wooden, padded weapons. Swords become wooden practice blades. Axes become chunky padded wooden mallets. Spears become padded prods. Arrows become foam-tipped bolts.
[2026/01/04 14:20] Sapphire: Bluebell smirks, and double checks what her spell casting implements have done in response to this, waving around a wand with a cork on the end.
[2026/01/04 14:21] Mecha: My sword!
[2026/01/04 14:22] Sapphire: "It's fun!"
[2026/01/04 14:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: (Just IM'd you your updated sheets - don't forget you have 1x Potion Cocae Colaris each, and Mecha you got one Time Bauble)
[2026/01/04 14:22] Jassie: hehe yes, this is fun!!!
[2026/01/04 14:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hollysheaf the Evergreen: “Toys for orphans shouldn't be delivered with bloodshed. So... no maiming, no skewering, no impaling today. Just gentle concussive encouragement.”
[2026/01/04 14:23] Mecha: It's not fun. What am I gonna do with a larp sword?
[2026/01/04 14:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Talking about gentle concussive encouragement...
[2026/01/04 14:24] Jassie: u can still beat something on the head thats for sure haha
[2026/01/04 14:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: Everyone, roll a Wisdom check, AND, an Intelligence check. That's 2x D2p each, must roll under the stats to pass
[2026/01/04 14:24] D20: Mecha rolls 15
[2026/01/04 14:24] D20: Mecha rolls 3
[2026/01/04 14:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha passes INT.... everyone else?
[2026/01/04 14:25] D20: Jassie rolls 9
[2026/01/04 14:25] D20: Joe rolls 20
[2026/01/04 14:25] D20: Joe rolls 19
[2026/01/04 14:26] D20: Jassie rolls 16
[2026/01/04 14:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: total fail from Joe *GIGGLES*
[2026/01/04 14:26] Jassie: i passed wis?
[2026/01/04 14:26] Joe: i am wanting to hate on this Hollysheaf munchkin
[2026/01/04 14:26] Jassie: failed int
[2026/01/04 14:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: There's a loud BOOM and a section of the village walls explode inwards in a shower of stone shards, chunks of ice and shattered stone bricks. The party gets a brief view of a huge winged lizard sweeping overhead, dark grey to greenish in colouration, with a wide wingspan and a slender body with an elongated beak and a distinctive crest at the back of its' skull, with sharp piercing eyes, and, a huge iron cylinder strapped under its' body, with kobolds hanging onto the straps for dear life, high-fiving each other and yapping excitedly. Smoke is issuing from the iron cylinder, and then the apparition sweeps past.
[2026/01/04 14:27] Sapphire: Wis
[2026/01/04 14:27] D20: Sapphire rolls 16
[2026/01/04 14:27] Sapphire: int
[2026/01/04 14:27] D20: Sapphire rolls 4
[2026/01/04 14:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: Those that made your WIS checks: That's the dwarves' still cylinder! And, those that made INT checks... That's a pteranodon that the cylinder is strapped to, a lengendary creature said to fly the skies when the world was young!
[2026/01/04 14:27] Mecha: ... well, shit
[2026/01/04 14:27] Joe: "That's the metal barrel we are hired to retrieve."
[2026/01/04 14:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: And there's more!
[2026/01/04 14:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: From beyond the breech in the walls, a loud HONK, and a shrill cheer, and a swarm of little dog-like creatures in leather armour come swarming in!
[2026/01/04 14:28] Sapphire: "And that creature! It's bones are on display at the wizard academy! A monster from the depths of history!"
[2026/01/04 14:28] Jassie: ooooo!!!! thats so cool!!!
[2026/01/04 14:28] Joe: "Thanks Hollysheaf, you're a real chum."
[2026/01/04 14:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: Even worse, they're singing....
[2026/01/04 14:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: "Here we come a-kobolding,
Right down your snowy lane!
We’re bold and cold and overloaded,
With dragon-fire and pain!
GOOD TIDINGS! GOOD TIDINGS!
From Winterscales the Great!
The biggest! The meanest!
(He hatched from Dwarven crates!)"

"Our dragon roars with thunder-booms,
And belches mighty smoke!
(We stuff the tube with pebbles ‘cause
It makes the big folk choke!)
GOOD TIDINGS! GOOD TIDINGS!
Now tremble when you hear—
The jingling! The honking!
THE KOBOLDS OF THE YEAR!"

"So guard your toys and shiny things,
And lock your pudding tight!
We’re coming, drumming, humming,
For a very jolly fight!
GOOD TIDINGS! GOOD TIDINGS!
Now hide your festive cheer—
For Winterscales is hungry,
AND KOBOLDS HAVE NO FEAR!"
[2026/01/04 14:28] Sapphire: They shouldn't exist anymore, how did kobolds catch one.... the time chunks! That wizard found a way to bring dead monsters back from the past!"
[2026/01/04 14:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll initiative!
[2026/01/04 14:29] D20: Sapphire rolls 13
[2026/01/04 14:29] Jassie: still claps along
[2026/01/04 14:29] D20: Jassie rolls 20
[2026/01/04 14:30] Joe: "Bloody wizards!"
[2026/01/04 14:30] D20: Joe rolls 2
[2026/01/04 14:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha... D20
[2026/01/04 14:30] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 9
[2026/01/04 14:31] D20: Mecha rolls 4
[2026/01/04 14:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: There are six kobolds charging forwards, and....
[2026/01/04 14:31] Sapphire: and on their Pteranodon?
[2026/01/04 14:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: ...they're wearing bright red noses, that appear to be big brown leather cones with a bright glowing red button on the end, strapped in place over their faces.
[2026/01/04 14:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: "Wear noses, scalies! It make us invisible!"
[2026/01/04 14:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe, you're first!
[2026/01/04 14:34] Joe: Joe, eternal paladin of the order of eternal paladins, leap up and grabs the dragon around the neck as it flies over, and holds on for dear life, hoping to pull myself up onto its back or at least to undo the straps holding the barrel to it.
[2026/01/04 14:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: well, the dragon .... er, pternadon... was at least thirty feet in the air (and has since flown away from sheer momentum)
[2026/01/04 14:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha, what you planning on doing?
[2026/01/04 14:36] Joe: oh balls. okay i suppose we should defend ourselves and the villagers from the kobold horde
[2026/01/04 14:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: Oh yes!
[2026/01/04 14:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: do 6 kobolds a horde make...?
[2026/01/04 14:36] Mecha: gonna bonk the nearest kobold on their head. "You're not invisible, knock it off."
[2026/01/04 14:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll d20
[2026/01/04 14:36] D20: Mecha rolls 18
[2026/01/04 14:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: it's a good hit! You clonk the nearest kobold squarely on the noggin
[2026/01/04 14:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll damage
[2026/01/04 14:37] D4: Mecha rolls 1
[2026/01/04 14:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: ....1....
[2026/01/04 14:37] Mecha: not going for a knockout, just a bonk to stagger
[2026/01/04 14:37] Jassie: lol
[2026/01/04 14:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: I know I nerfed your weapons, but.... 1? Seriously?
[2026/01/04 14:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: The wooden weapon goes BONK on his head. He staggers, blinks. "Scalies... can humens see invisible?"
[2026/01/04 14:38] Mecha: This one didn't nerf nothing
[2026/01/04 14:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe?
[2026/01/04 14:38] Joe: I boink the next kobold on the head
[2026/01/04 14:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll d20
[2026/01/04 14:38] D20: Joe rolls 8
[2026/01/04 14:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: well.. close... you hit AC 8
[2026/01/04 14:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: but they're AV 7
[2026/01/04 14:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: AC, not AV :)
[2026/01/04 14:39] Joe: i should have drop-kicked it
[2026/01/04 14:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: so, kobolds go... two go for Mecha
[2026/01/04 14:39] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 11
[2026/01/04 14:39] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 16
[2026/01/04 14:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: yeah, not with those rolls
[2026/01/04 14:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: two for Joe
[2026/01/04 14:40] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 10
[2026/01/04 14:40] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 5
[2026/01/04 14:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: nope.
[2026/01/04 14:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: One for Sapphire
[2026/01/04 14:40] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 12
[2026/01/04 14:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: naa.
[2026/01/04 14:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: and one for Jassie
[2026/01/04 14:40] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 9
[2026/01/04 14:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: swing and a miss
[2026/01/04 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire!
[2026/01/04 14:41] D20: Jassie rolls 6
[2026/01/04 14:41] Sapphire: Getting into the vibe of the padded weapons, Bluebell kneels down to pack a snowball, then lobs it at one of the kobolds. "Stinging Bolt!" she shouts at it, hoping they play along.
[2026/01/04 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: Jassie pre-fails her roll :P
[2026/01/04 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll d20
[2026/01/04 14:41] Jassie: dont know what im rolling for
[2026/01/04 14:41] D20: Sapphire rolls 6
[2026/01/04 14:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me facepalms as the snowball whizzes by a kobolds' head
[2026/01/04 14:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: Jassie: pity advantage - what do you do to fight off these rampaging kobolds?
[2026/01/04 14:42] Jassie: i raise the wand and cast tasha's hideous laughter on the pternaodon
[2026/01/04 14:43] Jassie: well, its uncontrollable here lol
[2026/01/04 14:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'm not sure the pternadon will find that funny, also, it's flown right out of range
[2026/01/04 14:43] Jassie: ah ok
[2026/01/04 14:44] Jassie: magic missile the kobolds then
[2026/01/04 14:44] D4: Jassie rolls 1
[2026/01/04 14:44] D4: Jassie rolls 1
[2026/01/04 14:44] D4: Jassie rolls 4
[2026/01/04 14:44] Sapphire: spread or focused?
[2026/01/04 14:44] Jassie: lol, that is average..... target all at 1
[2026/01/04 14:44] Jassie: since i rolled meh
[2026/01/04 14:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: ok, you wave your hands, you chant, you point.... 3 separate kobolds?
[2026/01/04 14:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: you sure you want to target only one?
[2026/01/04 14:45] Jassie: fine, when u ask that way
[2026/01/04 14:45] Jassie: 3 it is
[2026/01/04 14:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: *GIGGLES*
[2026/01/04 14:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: You expect three glowing darts of force to hurtle at the kobolds... but... that's not -quite- what happens.
[2026/01/04 14:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: You toss three Brussels Sprouts at the kobolds. The sprouts grow bigger and bigger until they -slam- into the first three kobolds.
[2026/01/04 14:46] Jassie: LOL ok thats fun!
[2026/01/04 14:46] Jassie: woo
[2026/01/04 14:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: One is knocked right out, and goes down with Robin red-breasts flying round his head, as a huge lump appears
[2026/01/04 14:47] Sonja Bikergrrl: One staggers from a Brussels Sprout to the face, badly bruised
[2026/01/04 14:47] Jassie: i didnt know I can make veggies guy!
[2026/01/04 14:47] Jassie: guys*
[2026/01/04 14:47] Joe: "a veggiemancer!"
[2026/01/04 14:47] Sonja Bikergrrl: The other is just slammed back, and gets a huge lump on his head, and the tweeting Robin red breasts circling over his head
[2026/01/04 14:47] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 20
[2026/01/04 14:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: The lead kobolds scream in fear at this vegtable assault, and, probably fearing being asked to help with the washing up after, scatter in all directions, yipping and yapping fearfully
[2026/01/04 14:49] Sonja Bikergrrl: You survived the first wave... but will you survive the second wave?
[2026/01/04 14:49] Sapphire: "Hah! What were you even trying to steal?"
[2026/01/04 14:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: There's another six kobolds charging up... one has what looks like a battered toy trumpet. Another holds a rolled up scroll, two others have lengths of tinsel... another, a very, very large golden chestnut.
[2026/01/04 14:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe! What are you going to do?
[2026/01/04 14:50] Joe: I am going to kick the nearest kobold in such a way as to make it fly through the air quite some distance
[2026/01/04 14:50] Jassie: drop kick?
[2026/01/04 14:51] Joe: yes
[2026/01/04 14:51] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll D20 ;-)
[2026/01/04 14:51] D20: Joe rolls 14
[2026/01/04 14:51] Sonja Bikergrrl: You boot a kobold squarely between the legs... Oh! Roll damage. D6
[2026/01/04 14:51] D6: Joe rolls 4
[2026/01/04 14:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: Your boot slams into whatever kobolds have in their pants. The kick sends the kobold flying far, far, far away... the last you see, is a tiny figure receding over the remains of the city walls. The last thing you hear (from the kobold) is a rather loud scream, fading into the distance.
[2026/01/04 14:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha?
[2026/01/04 14:53] Mecha: Gonna try to grab one by the back of their shirt and lift before asking."What are you doing?"
[2026/01/04 14:53] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay, D20
[2026/01/04 14:53] D20: Mecha rolls 15
[2026/01/04 14:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: well, you grabbed a kobold, one of the ones with tinsel. He cackles and yips: "Tying you up, big stupid!" Since you're holding him close, he easily loops tinsel about you... and as for his budddy, who not gets +4 to his roll...
[2026/01/04 14:54] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 9
[2026/01/04 14:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: He wraps tinsel about your legs, laughing hysterically
[2026/01/04 14:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: Kobolds turn!
[2026/01/04 14:55] Mecha: *Is still holding him in the air*
[2026/01/04 14:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: The one with the toy trumpet raises the horn and blows.... HHOONNKK!!! The kobolds cheer and brighten, visibly encouraged.
[2026/01/04 14:56] Sonja Bikergrrl: The one with the scroll unfurls it, stands straight, and announces: "Me cast Scroll of Boom! Me show humens!" He starts to chant loudly, grinning
[2026/01/04 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: The last one, he saw Joe punt his friend in the balls, and attacks Joe
[2026/01/04 14:57] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 5
[2026/01/04 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me sighs and facepalms
[2026/01/04 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire!
[2026/01/04 14:57] Sapphire: Bluebell packs another snowball, running over to the scroll-wielding 'bolds and trying to smack the scroll out of their hands with a throw!
[2026/01/04 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll d20, +4 bonus
[2026/01/04 14:57] D20: Sapphire rolls 18
[2026/01/04 14:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: would you like the +4 bonus later instead?
[2026/01/04 14:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: *GIGGLES*
[2026/01/04 14:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll damage! 1d4
[2026/01/04 14:59] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire.
[2026/01/04 14:59] D4: Sapphire rolls 1
[2026/01/04 15:00] Sonja Bikergrrl: well, the good news is, you shove the snowball in his gob
[2026/01/04 15:00] Sapphire: "Nope! At best I can let you cast a scroll of moob."
[2026/01/04 15:00] Sonja Bikergrrl: the bad news is, he spits out the snow. "Bah! me lose place, me start over!" He starts to chant again.
[2026/01/04 15:00] Sonja Bikergrrl: Jassie! What do you do?
[2026/01/04 15:02] Jassie: i rush forward clapping my hands in a rhythm, and stab the kobold in the hand with my dagger(woofen poker)
[2026/01/04 15:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: which one?
[2026/01/04 15:02] Jassie: head*
[2026/01/04 15:02] Jassie: the one with the snowball
[2026/01/04 15:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay, D20, +4 to hit
[2026/01/04 15:03] Jassie: I just say, have an extra taste of the poker
[2026/01/04 15:03] D20: Jassie rolls 9
[2026/01/04 15:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll damage
[2026/01/04 15:03] Jassie: lol no dice for it
[2026/01/04 15:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: there is, D4, /2
[2026/01/04 15:04] D4: Jassie rolls 2
[2026/01/04 15:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: A loud THUNK of a wooden poker slamming on a kobold skull, raising another huge lump , and he goes down with stars and robin red-breasts circling over
[2026/01/04 15:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: end of round, back to Joe!
[2026/01/04 15:05] Jassie: wooo!
[2026/01/04 15:05] Joe: yay! go jassie
[2026/01/04 15:05] Joe: so the kobold wit hthe scroll is disabled now ?
[2026/01/04 15:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: He's down (and out)
[2026/01/04 15:06] Joe: cool. I will droop-kick the next kobold, same as before
[2026/01/04 15:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: D20
[2026/01/04 15:06] D20: Joe rolls 15
[2026/01/04 15:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: Oouf, damage
[2026/01/04 15:06] D6: Joe rolls 4
[2026/01/04 15:07] Sonja Bikergrrl: That's another kobold sent flying far, far, far away, disappearing over the ruined wall with a fading scream of pain. That's two kobolds now, who won't know what to do tonight.
[2026/01/04 15:07] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha, currently encircled by tinsel, and holding a cackling kobold while one runs about your feet?
[2026/01/04 15:08] Mecha: well lifted him off the ground for this so flings the kobold into the nearest wall
[2026/01/04 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll d20
[2026/01/04 15:09] D20: Mecha rolls 19
[2026/01/04 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: wow
[2026/01/04 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll damage
[2026/01/04 15:09] Jassie: nicee
[2026/01/04 15:10] D4: Mecha rolls 3
[2026/01/04 15:11] Sonja Bikergrrl: Several things happen at once. The tinsel just goes -snap- -snap- snap-... it's only tinsel, and impedes you not at all. I'm not sure which wall you fling the kobold at, since the city wall got blown down, but, he hits hard and bounces off, glaring and ready to spring at you and fight
[2026/01/04 15:11] Sapphire: Bluebell collects that dropped scroll before it can do something dangerous! And lobbing a snowball into the face of anyone threatening her.
[2026/01/04 15:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: And, the -other- kobold... well, he was tied to the first with a length of tinsel, so, -he- hurtles towards the first kobold and THUNK both heads slam into each other. Two lumps, to KO'd kobolds and now six robin red-breasts flying overhead, tweeting.
[2026/01/04 15:12] Joe: can we all see the robin red breasts ?
[2026/01/04 15:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire: you notice the scroll has doodles of fireworks and the word "BOOM" written several times... BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM BOOM, BOOM!
[2026/01/04 15:13] Jassie: ( lol he just sees breasts)
[2026/01/04 15:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: You can, they appear and fly for thirty seconds before fading from sight
[2026/01/04 15:13] Sapphire: She rolls it up for later, surely a swarm of fireworks will come in handy.
[2026/01/04 15:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: There's only one left, the one with the toy trumpet, and he just -scarpers-
[2026/01/04 15:14] Joe: Is that little creep Hollysheaf still around?
[2026/01/04 15:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: She is standing a few feet behind you all, nodding and smiling.
[2026/01/04 15:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: But... you have more important matters to attend to. Do you remember that convoy of red wagons...?
[2026/01/04 15:15] Joe: I turn to Hollysheaf and explain politely about how her spell which has turned all our weapons into useless crap must be reversed as soon as possible if she intends to see new yera
[2026/01/04 15:15] Sapphire: "Hi Holly!"
[2026/01/04 15:15] Sapphire: "Joe! but that spell worked on the kobolds too!"
[2026/01/04 15:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: Elves are running about waving their arms and kobolds are flinging sacks into the wagons. An elf runs up: "Quick! They're stealing the orphans' toys! We must go after them, there's no time to waste!"
[2026/01/04 15:16] Joe: Not feeling particularly charitable at this moment, Joe the Paladin is in a bad mood
[2026/01/04 15:16] Jassie: well, whatcha waiting for? we cant allow orphans with no presents!
[2026/01/04 15:17] Jassie: /me grabs joe's arm and pulls him along
[2026/01/04 15:17] Mecha: On the way. no stealing from orphans
[2026/01/04 15:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: exactly, what kind of christmas is that, with grinches stealing christmas?
[2026/01/04 15:17] Sapphire: an Edwardian one, that's what.
[2026/01/04 15:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: There are three wagons full of loot, with three kobolds riding in them (so nine kobolds). There's one wagon, with an elf waiting. Each wagon is pulled by two reindeer. The kobolds are singing, partly drunkenly, partly triumphantly, with bright tinkly bells and over-excited kazoo accompaniment.
[2026/01/04 15:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: "Clatter-clack, the wagons roll,
Kobolds singing from a hole,
Red-nosed torches, jingling bright,
Bringing cheer (and minor fright!)"

"Heeere comes the convoy - jing-jing-jang!
Boxes full of who-knows-what go clang!
Wobbling wheels and festive fear -
Kobold Christmas time is here!"

"Tinsel, trinkets, traps galore -
It’s all in fun, they swear! (Mostly. ...sure.)"
[2026/01/04 15:18] Sapphire: Bluebell runs up to chase these kobolds... are they even moving the wagons? "Maybe we can trick them into partying too hard to get way."
[2026/01/04 15:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: As you run up, the kobold-occupied wagons clatter off, kicking up sprays of snow, but, you can see triumphant kobolds flipping birdies
[2026/01/04 15:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: You're not going to take -that- lying down, are ya?
[2026/01/04 15:19] Jassie: i run up and cast magic brussels at some of them
[2026/01/04 15:19] Joe: Are there any planks laying around ?
[2026/01/04 15:20] Sonja Bikergrrl: Maybe in the last wagon. There's an anxious elf hopping from foot to foot. "Get on, we got to get after them!"
[2026/01/04 15:21] Sapphire: "Is your sleigh fast enough to chase them?"
[2026/01/04 15:21] Joe: how fast are the carts moving ?
[2026/01/04 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: Elf: "I got Dancer and Blitzen - fast as lightning!"
[2026/01/04 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: Fast, those reindeer move with no penalty in snow
[2026/01/04 15:22] Mecha: Got teh dex and strngth so gonna try to catch one of the kobold wagons
[2026/01/04 15:22] Joe: I want to run up to the front wagon and unhitch the reindeer from it
[2026/01/04 15:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: You can't outrun rain, dear.
[2026/01/04 15:22] Sapphire: Bluebell gets onto the sleigh. "Come on, lets chase!"
[2026/01/04 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: At this moment in time, you either are on the wagon, or, wave the orphans' toys goodbye
[2026/01/04 15:23] Joe: climbs on the back wagon. As it leaves I point my finger accusingly at Hollysheaf
[2026/01/04 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Yes, that's the spirit. There'll be time for recriminations if and when you survive!
[2026/01/04 15:23] Mecha: hopping on the wagon
[2026/01/04 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: The wagon HURTLES forwards, after the other three!
[2026/01/04 15:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: Let's start with Sapphire... DEX check
[2026/01/04 15:24] Sapphire: on wagon!
[2026/01/04 15:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: yep, must roll under 13
[2026/01/04 15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me rolls for kobolds, meanwhile
[2026/01/04 15:25] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/01/04 15:25] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 9
[2026/01/04 15:25] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/01/04 15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: (success)
[2026/01/04 15:26] Jassie: (fucking hell(
[2026/01/04 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me has faith in Sapphires' ability to check DEX
[2026/01/04 15:27] D20: Sapphire rolls 1
[2026/01/04 15:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: ooh
[2026/01/04 15:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: critcal success, no less
[2026/01/04 15:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: The elf driver, aided by Sapphire, misses the obvious ruts and rocks that the kobold drivers go over, the wagon manages to pull ahead of the kobold wagons.
[2026/01/04 15:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: You can't help noticing there's a lot of snow in the wagon... and you of course have weapons and spells...
[2026/01/04 15:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe! You first, what do you do?
[2026/01/04 15:29] Sapphire: how many kobold controlled wagons?
[2026/01/04 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: Three.
[2026/01/04 15:30] Joe: Our wagon is in front, is it still moving?
[2026/01/04 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: Yep, in front, moving fast
[2026/01/04 15:31] Joe: I want to jump onto the wagon behind and unhitch the reindeer.
[2026/01/04 15:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: oh-kay... are you sure?
[2026/01/04 15:31] Joe: yes
[2026/01/04 15:31] Sapphire: "Good luck!"
[2026/01/04 15:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: well, check DEX, roll D20
[2026/01/04 15:31] Joe: preferably as our wagn is overtaking it
[2026/01/04 15:32] D20: Joe rolls 4
[2026/01/04 15:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: Success
[2026/01/04 15:32] Joe: yay
[2026/01/04 15:32] Jassie: nice job
[2026/01/04 15:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: You vault onto the back of a reindeer and pull out the hitching pin. The wagon lumbers to a halt, while the driver is -yanked- off and flung down into the snow and dragged behind. The last the party sees is the reindeer, no longer held back by the weight of the wagon, hurtling past your wagon as if they were about to take off.
[2026/01/04 15:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: One wagon down! Mecha?
[2026/01/04 15:34] Mecha: Gonna try for the next wagon to kick the kobolds off and stop the wagon
[2026/01/04 15:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: ..you're jumping too?
[2026/01/04 15:34] Mecha: yep
[2026/01/04 15:35] D20: Mecha rolls 3
[2026/01/04 15:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me tries not to think of that scene in Jurassic Park where chaos theory is being explained and two scientists jump out of a moving car
[2026/01/04 15:36] Jassie: (hahaha)
[2026/01/04 15:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: Success - you jump on a wagon and send kobolds flying. They cartwheel through the air and disappear into deep snowdrifts.
[2026/01/04 15:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: Jassie! What do you do?
[2026/01/04 15:37] Sapphire: Hat trick time
[2026/01/04 15:38] Joe: yay!
[2026/01/04 15:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: I can tell I'm not gonna like it...
[2026/01/04 15:39] Jassie: oh boy
[2026/01/04 15:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: *GIGGLES* what you doing?
[2026/01/04 15:39] Jassie: nah, i aint athletic
[2026/01/04 15:40] Jassie: i shoot magic brussels at the last wagon wheels
[2026/01/04 15:40] Jassie: try to choke it up
[2026/01/04 15:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: Already used that spell
[2026/01/04 15:40] Jassie: oh yea
[2026/01/04 15:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: But you -could- throw a snowball...
[2026/01/04 15:40] Jassie: erm...
[2026/01/04 15:41] Jassie: cast tasha's on the driver of that last wagon
[2026/01/04 15:41] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 19
[2026/01/04 15:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: Saved :P
[2026/01/04 15:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: The driver of the last wagon stares at you, as you chant and point, however, nothing happens
[2026/01/04 15:42] Jassie: WIW
[2026/01/04 15:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: well...
[2026/01/04 15:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: since he's so busy staring at you, and not driving....and this is why you NEVER take your eyes off of the road... he suffers a Mishap
[2026/01/04 15:42] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/01/04 15:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: Cargo shifts, and packages tumble off the wagon!
[2026/01/04 15:43] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 13
[2026/01/04 15:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: So do the kobolds, as they fail their DEX saves. One, two, three kobolds tumble into the trail and roll into snowdrifts, as the wagon slows down
[2026/01/04 15:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: It would seem this mighty chariot... er, wagon... race, worthy of Ben Hur, has been one! I mean... WON!
[2026/01/04 15:44] Jassie: i'll accept the pity
[2026/01/04 15:44] Sapphire: Won!
[2026/01/04 15:44] Jassie: hehe
[2026/01/04 15:44] Joe: Hooray!
[2026/01/04 15:45] Joe: Oh my God Jassie only has to look at people and they freeze. She is Medusa
[2026/01/04 15:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: As the elf driver draws the wagon to a stop, you see the remaining concious kobolds run into the forest, bearing a sack of presents.
[2026/01/04 15:46] Joe: chase the kobolds!
[2026/01/04 15:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: It would appear your task isn't -quite- done... and where is that pternadon with the dwarven still strapped to it? What happened to that?
[2026/01/04 15:46] Joe: it flew of finto the mou
[2026/01/04 15:46] Joe: ntains
[2026/01/04 15:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: I think we'll draw it to a close there, there's -just- too much to squeeze in, and, I want to answer it fully.... next time ;-)
[2026/01/04 15:47] Sapphire: how many bolds running with sacks?
[2026/01/04 15:47] Sapphire: also, a moral question
[2026/01/04 15:47] Sapphire: how many of the kobolds are orphans?
[2026/01/04 15:47] Sonja Bikergrrl: Less than nine, but, enough to carry a heavy sack
[2026/01/04 15:47] Sonja Bikergrrl: That is a good question
[2026/01/04 15:47] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'll let your ponder the possible answers for next session
[2026/01/04 15:47] Joe: thanks DM Sonja !
[2026/01/04 15:47] Jassie: okiee
[2026/01/04 15:48] Jassie: yesh thanks sonja!
[2026/01/04 15:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: speaking of which! Next session is Thursday if you're here
[2026/01/04 15:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: Wonder what happened to the chronomage. maybe he'll appear last week ;-)
[2026/01/04 15:49] Mecha: We will see
[2026/01/04 15:49] Sapphire: good session
[2026/01/04 15:49] Joe: lots of fun
[2026/01/04 15:49] Sapphire: you all have a good time
[2026/01/04 15:49] Sonja Bikergrrl: well, Thursday, see you then... we gotta get this wrapped up soon before it stops being Yuletide!
[2026/01/04 15:49] Jassie: yes
[2026/01/04 15:50] Jassie: hugs all around!!
[2026/01/04 15:50] Joe: night folks