[2025/12/21 14:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: So... all ready for our little festive TPK?
[2025/12/21 14:22] Mecha: /me nods
[2025/12/21 14:23] Sapphire: sure
[2025/12/21 14:23] Sapphire: *adds +4 festive
[2025/12/21 14:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: so... fighter... thief... cleric... mage... who wants which?
[2025/12/21 14:23] Mecha: fighter
[2025/12/21 14:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'll IM your stats
[2025/12/21 14:24] Sapphire: i'll take a witch
[2025/12/21 14:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: and Joe, of course, is a paladin
[2025/12/21 14:26] Mecha: /me chuckles
[2025/12/21 14:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me cracks knuckles. "Are we ready? Good. Then we'll begin... Merry Critmas - One shot for low level players at Christmas. Expect explosions and mayhem!"
[2025/12/21 14:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: Picture the scene: Snow falls gently on a small mountain village. Lantern light spills from frost-rimmed windows. Garlands of pine and ribbon hang from doorframes. Somewhere, a fiddle and bells play a familiar Yuletide tune - warm, cheerful, almost fragile against the cold night air.
[2025/12/21 14:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: Now picture this: High above the clouds, the wind screams. The world below is distant and small. Snow is torn sideways by a violent current, the sound of rushing air swallowing everything else.
[2025/12/21 14:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: Meanwhile: In the village, children laugh. A mug is raised in a toast. The music swells as smoke curls from chimneys into the dark sky. And, the village wall - stone, solid, reassuring - standing silent around the perimeter of the settlement.
[2025/12/21 14:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: And back to high the sky; the wind grows louder. A shrill, piercing screech cuts through the storm — not natural, not distant. Something moves through the clouds, huge claws flash briefly in the moonlight, while far below, the walled village is spread out like a map.
[2025/12/21 14:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: Again, in the village... The music plays on for half a heartbeat longer. Then...

KA-BOOM!!!

The wall EXPLODES inwards, stone fragments and splintered wood flying in every direction as something massive swoops through the great gap in the defenses. Snow, dust, and debris fill the air and panicked screams replace the music.
[2025/12/21 14:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: (now can I set a scene, or, can I set a scene?)
[2025/12/21 14:31] Mecha: *that was impressive*
[2025/12/21 14:31] Sapphire: Bluebell is one of the half-elfs holding a mug up, (mulled wine) in toast to the deep granary stores and the love of good friends, when the wall explodes and coats her woolen dress with a mixture of straw and snow. "Gah!"
[2025/12/21 14:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: So, you're wondering, where are you? Let's just rewind a little and go a few miles away. It’s Yuletide — the season when it’s far too cold for farming, logging, or even honest highway robbery. You have been hired to escort a dwarven trade caravan carrying the parts of the new Hammerbrew distillation tower to the clan’s mountain hall near Kegmont Peak.
[2025/12/21 14:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: The caravan left Warwick three days ago. The road ahead winds toward Kegmont Mountain... and the party has spent most of that time freezing, bored, and subjected to the infamous horrors of dwarven camp cooking — culminating in the ultimate dwarven weapon: dwarf bread.
[2025/12/21 14:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: For the last day, faint BOOMs have echoed across the valleys.

Probably thunder.

Probably.

But the dwarves keep glancing at one another.
Enough of that, though. The Hammerbrew Clan -did- order a new distillation tower, and that contract -did- include an ominous line about “all components must be delivered intact, and any missing parts must be recovered with haste by the escorting guards.”

What could possibly go right?
[2025/12/21 14:33] Joe: how much dwarf bread accompanies the caravan?
[2025/12/21 14:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: (Probably nothing. I know you guys :P)
[2025/12/21 14:34] Sapphire: ( strike that bit about bluebell being in the tavern, or keep? )
[2025/12/21 14:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: (Yep.)
[2025/12/21 14:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: Snow crunches underfoot as the caravan rounds the final bend toward the Hammerbrew brewery. The smell of woodsmoke should drift from chimneys. The steady ring of hammers should echo from the workshops. Instead - there is silence, broken only by the thin whistle of the winter wind.

The courtyard ahead is a mess of churned snow, broken scaffolding, and smashed crates. Deep gouges furrow the earth as though something massive was dragged away. A long smear of spilled ale has frozen into amber ice. And standing in the middle of it all is a crowd of furious dwarves.

They’re red-faced, snow-dusted, and armed with an assortment of tools that are definitely not meant to be weapons — except they absolutely are right now. A stout dwarf in a leather brewing apron steps forward, brandishing a bent ladle like a mace. “About flaming time ye turned up!” he bellows, beard bristling. “Where in the Nine Sooty Forges have ye been?!”
[2025/12/21 14:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha! Start with you.
[2025/12/21 14:35] Mecha: Dahla drops to her knees."NOT THE ALE! Why do the good get taken away from us like this!"
[2025/12/21 14:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: Indeed, it's a crime of epic proportions.
[2025/12/21 14:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: (And then Joe)
[2025/12/21 14:37] Sapphire: In that case Bluebell has been discovering how many layers of wool knee-socks she can wear and still walk (three) while otherwise stacking cloaks and a tall furr hat. "But but but! They promised me a share of the brandy!"
[2025/12/21 14:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: Only three? Noob.
[2025/12/21 14:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: Foreman points. "Look! A bunch o’ scaly blighters stole our winter-lager steam-still!"
[2025/12/21 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: The foreman thrusts the contract in your faces, jabbing one thick finger at the clause the you undoubtedly hoped would never matter. “‘Escorting guards shall be responsible for recovery of any missing components.’”
[2025/12/21 14:42] Sapphire: (( It's the still that was already on site that got stolen? or the caravan parts?
[2025/12/21 14:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: It's the huge iron cylinder that makes the still, that has been stolen.
[2025/12/21 14:43] Joe: Yes we agreed to that. It is our duty to retrieve the stolen things.
[2025/12/21 14:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: Foreman glares. “Well? Ye’d best start recoverin’.”
[2025/12/21 14:43] Joe: Fortunately for us such a large and obvious object should be easy to reclaim. Right?
[2025/12/21 14:43] Mecha: points to the distillation tower and then back to the contract. "the components we delivered are here. Not our fault you screwed up on your end. You want it, we want pay."
[2025/12/21 14:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: Foreman: "Oh no ye don't. The entire still must be delivered, or no pay. As per the contract. Get to it!"
[2025/12/21 14:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire?
[2025/12/21 14:46] Sapphire: "Any of you willing to back us up to go get it?" Bluebell asks, adjusting her tall furred hat. "Fine, it's in our contract that we have to try, i get it. But you want that still just as much as I want the brandy I was promised, so the more of us who go chase it down, the better odds we have against whatever ice-blooded kobolds stole the thing."
[2025/12/21 14:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: Foreman: "It's yer job!"
[2025/12/21 14:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: A distant, muffled BOOM echoes from somewhere far up the mountainside.
The dwarves go silent.
No one says “thunder” this time.
[2025/12/21 14:47] Mecha: It is delivered what we delivered it to isn't here. I'm more than happy to help with this NEW job but if I aint getting at least extra ale out of this then you can rebuild..." Pauses to hear Bluebell." Fuck. I better get extra Ale for this.
[2025/12/21 14:47] Sapphire: "At least a guide who knows these blizzard afflicted mountains," she says, eyeing the snow falling in the deep trail.
[2025/12/21 14:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: Foreman: "Never ye mind that, not my problem! Or that!"
[2025/12/21 14:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: Who's going to say or do what now?
[2025/12/21 14:50] Mecha: *And this is why Dahla doesn't hang around other elves all that much*
[2025/12/21 14:51] Sapphire: She turns and marches up the dragged trail, flashing a rude gesture to the foreman even as she follows orders. No use arguing with a dwarf once his argument lays down its first stone.
[2025/12/21 14:51] Sonja Bikergrrl: Not going to look for Clues first?
[2025/12/21 14:52] Sapphire: are there clues to be found aside from the obvious one? She'll keep her eyes open, but.... is it currently snowing?
[2025/12/21 14:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: Indeed, if you look.... 1. Tiny clawed footprints leading away from the tower base. At first they look like small dog prints... there are multiple overlapping trails, as if dozens of creatures ran around in panic before choosing a direction.
[2025/12/21 14:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll a D20, Sapphire
[2025/12/21 14:53] Mecha: Dahla is going to look around too
[2025/12/21 14:53] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha, you find something quite bizarre. 2. A dropped engineering schematic. It is... a stick dragon wearing a bucket as a helmet, breathing the word “BOOM” from a huge cylinder strapped under its belly. Arrows pointing toward it are labelled “shiny dwarven tubey bits.”
[2025/12/21 14:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe?
[2025/12/21 14:54] Joe: A stick dragon. I must see this cartoon.
[2025/12/21 14:54] Joe: I’m going to follow Sapphire up the mountain
[2025/12/21 14:54] D20: Sapphire rolls 3
[2025/12/21 14:54] Mecha: Dahla is going to show it to the others.
[2025/12/21 14:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe finds... 5. A trail of spilled brew leading upslope. It looks like the raiders tried to carry half-full kegs while hauling the tower. The trail periodically zig-zags, as if the raiders were increasingly drunk.
[2025/12/21 14:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire: successful check: you notice the trail of tails dragging behind.
[2025/12/21 14:56] Sonja Bikergrrl: Still looking, or...?
[2025/12/21 14:57] Sapphire: "Don't give them time to sober up!"
[2025/12/21 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: is that good advice... hard to say.
[2025/12/21 14:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha?
[2025/12/21 14:58] Mecha: Checking for any other clues before following the crowd showing off what she found with the schematic.
[2025/12/21 14:59] Sonja Bikergrrl: Other clues, eh.... you find... A makeshift pulley made of twine, wishbones, and hope Clearly used to lift part of the tower... and it snapped instantly. Writing on a nearby piece of parchment: “We need bigger pulley. Or stronger kobold. Or less gravity.”
[2025/12/21 15:00] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe, Sapphire?
[2025/12/21 15:00] Mecha: Well that explains what we are after and ohhhh shit
[2025/12/21 15:01] Joe: Could we tell from their footprints how many kobolds are in the pack?
[2025/12/21 15:01] Sonja Bikergrrl: ...is that a technical term, Mecha?
[2025/12/21 15:01] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: hard to say. There's a -lot-.
[2025/12/21 15:02] Mecha: Yeah considering it seems Dahla was looking around while the others were moving. She moves to catch up and fill everyone in on what she found.
[2025/12/21 15:02] Sapphire: Bluebell glances behind to chec she's not the only one going ahead.
[2025/12/21 15:02] Sapphire: and inspecting the trail itself
[2025/12/21 15:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire: you find another clue: A little red flag with a cartoon dragon skull It's a kobold clan war-banner, proudly planted in a snowbank. Text: “Clan Boomtail – Fear our engineering!” The banner is upside down.
[2025/12/21 15:04] Sapphire: gonna yoink that banner, might come in handy
[2025/12/21 15:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: indeed, you never know when you want to impersonate a deranged drunken kobold
[2025/12/21 15:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: Still looking for Clues?
[2025/12/21 15:05] Sapphire: How much time has current clue hunting taken?
[2025/12/21 15:05] Sapphire: and did the foremen say how long ago this took?
[2025/12/21 15:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: Not long enough to get all the Clues
[2025/12/21 15:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: Just a few hours before you arrived
[2025/12/21 15:07] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe, Mecha?
[2025/12/21 15:08] Mecha: Following behind."This is gonna be fun."
[2025/12/21 15:08] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha, you nearly trip over: A tiny manifesto nailed to the ground with a spoon. “We claim big shiny tower for GREAT PROJECT. No dwarfs. No humens. No reading past here.” The bottom is singed, as if it were used as kindling during the heist.
[2025/12/21 15:08] Joe: Did we find any sign of an entrance to a burrow yet?
[2025/12/21 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: Oh no, nowhere near any such thing.
[2025/12/21 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: but, you DID find... A massive deep groove leading up the mountain. Exactly the width of the tower’s distillation cylinder. The kobolds didn’t “steal” it so much as dragged it, scraping the earth the entire way. At the end of the trench is a small wooden sign: “THIS WAY TO BOOM TUBE TEST SITE.”
[2025/12/21 15:10] Mecha: Hah! No dwarfs or humans! I'm an Elf so i am okay
[2025/12/21 15:10] Sonja Bikergrrl: Another BOOM echoes in the distance.
[2025/12/21 15:10] Sonja Bikergrrl: Looks like you have a clear trail to follow!
[2025/12/21 15:11] Sapphire: Yeah, that deep groove is what Bluebell was planning to follow
[2025/12/21 15:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: A good plan. As you follow it... for some time... The trail (tiny tracks, dropped cogs, spilled brewery foam) leads to a cottage; a compact, defensible, eccentric wizard’s home. Designed like something a paranoid old mage would build in the snowy woods.
[2025/12/21 15:12] Joe: Joe the eternal Paladin of the order of eternal paladins, sidles up next to Bluebell and asks how much she knows about Kobolds
[2025/12/21 15:12] Mecha: Dahla collects the pieces, smegging dwarves gonna give us grief if even a piece is missing.
[2025/12/21 15:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: oooh, Mecha is indeed Wise ;)
[2025/12/21 15:15] Sapphire: "Looks like my dads cottage," Bluebell comments, crossing her arms in annyance... and then double checking her wand, orb and components are where they should be. "Anyone see the still?"
[2025/12/21 15:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: It's clearly been dragged here... but... it's not here.
[2025/12/21 15:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: At least... not as far as you can see.
[2025/12/21 15:16] Joe: “Litre
[2025/12/21 15:16] Joe: “Little soda have ‘boomed’ it”
[2025/12/21 15:16] Joe: Omg sorry autocorrect
[2025/12/21 15:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: That's a worrying thought. Do you know how much boom powder would go in it?
[2025/12/21 15:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: probably enough to make a very big bang, I guess.
[2025/12/21 15:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha!
[2025/12/21 15:18] Mecha: If the dragging stopped and the thing isn't here, look up to see if it was lifted and pulled up somewhere
[2025/12/21 15:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: well... it's not suspended in mid air... again, as far as you can tell
[2025/12/21 15:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire, Joe?
[2025/12/21 15:19] Sapphire: Bluebell skulks her way up to the windows of the cottages to peer inside
[2025/12/21 15:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire: You are bounced back before you cross the wall.
[2025/12/21 15:20] Joe: I Detect Evil!
[2025/12/21 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: And you detect....
[2025/12/21 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: ...no evil.
[2025/12/21 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha?
[2025/12/21 15:21] Mecha: Gonna move up and lightly knock on where she bounced
[2025/12/21 15:22] Sapphire: "Ow." she rubs herself, checking for bruises
[2025/12/21 15:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha: You can feel a slightly elastic and soft and very invisible barrier of force.
[2025/12/21 15:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: No bruises, Sapphire, except to your pride, maybe
[2025/12/21 15:22] Joe: Offers to help Bluebell to her feet
[2025/12/21 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Now what?
[2025/12/21 15:23] Joe: Search the cottage ?
[2025/12/21 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: You're outside the garden.
[2025/12/21 15:24] Mecha: and this invisible thing is blocking the cottage
[2025/12/21 15:24] Sapphire: Packs a snowball and lobs it hard at the cottage
[2025/12/21 15:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: It's blocking trying to get over the walls, certainly. Most people tend to use the gate.
[2025/12/21 15:24] Sapphire: wait
[2025/12/21 15:24] Sapphire: when did you mention the walls?
[2025/12/21 15:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire: the snowball rebounds, you get a snowball in the face.
[2025/12/21 15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: literally when you tried to step over one?
[2025/12/21 15:25] Sapphire: so seemingly short walls
[2025/12/21 15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: Low, knee height
[2025/12/21 15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: (Human size)
[2025/12/21 15:26] Mecha: Going towards the gate then
[2025/12/21 15:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: On the gate: A brass sign: “Deliveries: Leave on Step. Do NOT knock.” Half-buried footprints — many small clawed tracks, some dragging sacks.
[2025/12/21 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: The gate opens easily, if creakily.
[2025/12/21 15:27] Mecha: sounds good. Just going in. they did say do not knock
[2025/12/21 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: you're just going to turn the handle and open the cottage door?
[2025/12/21 15:28] Mecha: Not a rogue so not really checking for traps
[2025/12/21 15:29] Sapphire: Blue bell shakes her face, packs some backup snowballs, and intends to follow the footprints
[2025/12/21 15:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: whispers: The door creaks open. You see: The Hallway: A crooked coat rack still holds a tattered cloak, and a wooden chest is overturned, its contents of boot cleaning supplies spilled on the floor. A door leads into the main living area. Small footprints are visible in spilled alcohol, with broken bottles scattered on the ground.
[2025/12/21 15:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: An archway leads to a room to one side.
[2025/12/21 15:31] Sapphire: the boot cleaning supplies are stuff like brushes and a puddle of bootblack on the floor? any kobold prints generated from such a spill?
[2025/12/21 15:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: Yes, black dog-paw prints. In this weather, they really should wear little booties.
[2025/12/21 15:31] Joe: Shouts to those inside the building “all clear in there?”
[2025/12/21 15:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: your voice echoes back.
[2025/12/21 15:32] Mecha: Goes back to the door and waves him in."If it was, your shouting is bound to change that."
[2025/12/21 15:32] Joe: Follows them into the building
[2025/12/21 15:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: Going to try going into that big room to the side?
[2025/12/21 15:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: Or are you going to investigate the boot cleaning supplies?
[2025/12/21 15:33] Sapphire: it's an archway, we can see into there without actually entering, due to lack of curtain
[2025/12/21 15:33] Mecha: Dahla is coming in and trying to peek into the big room
[2025/12/21 15:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: Looks like a dining/living room/lab.
[2025/12/21 15:36] Sapphire: and sounds like no one in there. Bluebell moves to checkout the cleaning supplies, avoiding putting her own boots in the mess.
[2025/12/21 15:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: Now what?
[2025/12/21 15:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: you find brushes, rags, a tin of polish.
[2025/12/21 15:36] Joe: I sit and polish my boots while provided an opportunity to do so
[2025/12/21 15:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: Boots gain +10% shininess.
[2025/12/21 15:37] Joe: Aw yeah that’s why I love d&d
[2025/12/21 15:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: seems you also gain +5% smugness
[2025/12/21 15:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha?
[2025/12/21 15:38] Mecha: Dahla is going into the the dining/livingroom/lab
[2025/12/21 15:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: and I think that's where you need to stop, Mecha? It's getting late
[2025/12/21 15:39] Mecha: INdeed. Must go run the errand
[2025/12/21 15:39] Sapphire: gasp
[2025/12/21 15:39] Sapphire: we didn't even get the chance to steal the Jolly Wizards cookies
[2025/12/21 15:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: then we'll leave it at the cliffhanger of what happens next in the living room
[2025/12/21 15:39] Mecha: always next game
[2025/12/21 15:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'm sure Mecha will survive the five fire-breathing skeletons