[2026/02/05 13:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: who we waiting on
[2026/02/05 13:55] Mecha: Do not believe Joe is here yet
[2026/02/05 13:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: think he's AFK
[2026/02/05 13:55] Sapphire: all flesh... this is the Gwennifer game?
[2026/02/05 13:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mmhmm
[2026/02/05 13:59] Sapphire: /me purrrs
[2026/02/05 13:59] Sapphire: level 1
[2026/02/05 13:59] Sapphire: xp 300
[2026/02/05 14:00] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mmhmm
[2026/02/05 14:01] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me looks at the map, slowly realizes the party is in an even worse state than she thought...
[2026/02/05 14:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: why has Sapphire 300xp
[2026/02/05 14:02] Sapphire: *shrugs* "Seems low."
[2026/02/05 14:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: seems high, it's 200xp
[2026/02/05 14:03] Sapphire: ....roleplaying bonus?
[2026/02/05 14:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me eyes Sapphire.... "100xp"
[2026/02/05 14:04] Sapphire: darn
[2026/02/05 14:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me laughs like a drain
[2026/02/05 14:04] Sapphire: i suppose i'll just have to level behind everyone
[2026/02/05 14:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: it's 400, you wally.
[2026/02/05 14:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: give Joe a few minutes to respond.. I'll brb again
[2026/02/05 14:06] Sapphire: ok
[2026/02/05 14:10] Joe: hallo
[2026/02/05 14:11] Sonja Bikergrrl: right, now we're all here
[2026/02/05 14:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: last week you had just infiltrated the Black Wizard Thargons' base just before the Great Troll Ar.... wait, wrong notes
[2026/02/05 14:12] Sapphire: the man with the collapsing tower so we barely even got to loot him
[2026/02/05 14:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: you'd got the the goblin beast pens, met two alien creatures you've never seen before, and the cavalry came in the form of a man with a metal thunder stick and a woman in a white coat with healing magic
[2026/02/05 14:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: and with that recap out of the way, other players get many strange surprises in games, you get a small box of medical supplies.
[2026/02/05 14:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire first.
[2026/02/05 14:16] Sapphire: "Not to look a blessing directly in the eyes," Gwen starts, "But may I ask what brought you two down here? We're very fortunate and appreciative you came, of course. But we've been looking for the goblin chief in charge of this... lair."
[2026/02/05 14:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: The two look at you, clearly with the increasingly glazed-eyes look of those who are unable to understand. "Friends," one says, and the other: "Looking."
[2026/02/05 14:20] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe, Mecha?
[2026/02/05 14:20] Mecha: Neopti finds a stone wall and sits against it taking a moment to pet Fluffles
[2026/02/05 14:22] Joe: "Who are you people? What are you doing here?"
[2026/02/05 14:22] Mecha: Trying to find answers.. found humans. tale as old as time
[2026/02/05 14:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: You get a similiar answer. "Friends. Looking. Help."
[2026/02/05 14:23] Sapphire: What sort of accent do these folk have?
[2026/02/05 14:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Ones you can barely understand or trace.
[2026/02/05 14:24] Joe: "We really should camp out and heal ourselves better before descending any deeper into the lair. Somewhere safe from being ambushed in our sleep," i suggest
[2026/02/05 14:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: Do you mind if the DM suggests that's an exceptionally bad idea?
[2026/02/05 14:26] Joe: no its just I am on 1 HP and I think the others ar in a similar predicament
[2026/02/05 14:26] Sapphire: "They'll just swarm us if we try to rest. We need to at *least* get back to the surface to do that."
[2026/02/05 14:27] Joe: (thats what i meant)
[2026/02/05 14:27] Joe: im not suggesting we rest here
[2026/02/05 14:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: well, right now, you got the element of Surprise on your side. In eight hours time, expect alert triple guards and being actively hunted, and that's not even allowing for the quest being impossible to complete because the ones you're supposed to find will be gone.
[2026/02/05 14:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: -just- sayin'...
[2026/02/05 14:28] Joe: ok, i think im out of lay-on-hands too
[2026/02/05 14:29] Sapphire: same, i'm also out of healing i think
[2026/02/05 14:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: this is true :-)
[2026/02/05 14:29] Sapphire: we might have simply been walled by this dungeon, or spent too long stumbling into optional encounters
[2026/02/05 14:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: or I've been way too kind as a DM
[2026/02/05 14:30] Sapphire: in the "we should honestly be dead now" sense?
[2026/02/05 14:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: In the "oh it's a video game and they're mindless idiots" sense
[2026/02/05 14:30] Mecha: NEopti looks up."Okay you two humans You say friends and looking. Does that have anything to do with snagglebutt?
[2026/02/05 14:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: Neopti gets a blank look.
[2026/02/05 14:31] Mecha: "Also do you have anything that can help us heal. we have wounded
[2026/02/05 14:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: Also a "wtf" look
[2026/02/05 14:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: They clearly do, they already healed at least two of you
[2026/02/05 14:31] Sapphire: but joe's still at 1 hp?
[2026/02/05 14:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'm showing 7.
[2026/02/05 14:32] Sapphire: i'm actually unclear on what Gwen is at, come to mind
[2026/02/05 14:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: 7.
[2026/02/05 14:32] Sapphire: oh, when joe said he was at 1 the first you didn't mention anything
[2026/02/05 14:32] Sapphire: so i took that at face value
[2026/02/05 14:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: [2026/01/29 16:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: The woman says "Help." Then she gasps and points behind Joe.
[2026/01/29 16:15] Joe: Looks around to work out what has happened here since falling unconscious
[2026/01/29 16:15] Sapphire: Gwen stands up and raises their sword, turning to the pointed direction.
[2026/01/29 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: Woman: jabs the needle into Joes' arm, depresses a plunger.
[2026/01/29 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: There's nothing there.
[2026/01/29 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: Roll 1d6
[2026/01/29 16:15] D6: Joe rolls 6
[2026/01/29 16:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: Healed 6 hp
[2026/01/29 16:16] Joe: looks at my wounds
[2026/01/29 16:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: The woman just smirks, clearly thinking "Every time, never fails."
[2026/01/29 16:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: You're still bleeding, but, you feel a lot less like about to drop dead.
[2026/02/05 14:33] Sapphire: gwen also above half?
[2026/02/05 14:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: Both of you are at 7hp.
[2026/02/05 14:33] Joe: my bad, i forgot that, Thanks for clarifying.
[2026/02/05 14:33] Sapphire: so i'm only 1 short of max
[2026/02/05 14:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: looks it, yes
[2026/02/05 14:34] Sapphire: I think we were both planning as if we're both about to die
[2026/02/05 14:34] Joe: so the situation is not so dire
[2026/02/05 14:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: well... don't do anything stupid...
[2026/02/05 14:34] Sapphire: still out of spells but plenty of folk get by without magic.
[2026/02/05 14:35] Sapphire: we willing walked into a dark hole full of people who hate humans, we're clearly not exactly geniuses
[2026/02/05 14:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: Or firearms of the automatic nature
[2026/02/05 14:35] Mecha: Neopti gets to her feet and walks over to these nasty bastards that almost killed us and looks them over
[2026/02/05 14:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: Perception check, Mecha
[2026/02/05 14:35] D20: Mecha rolls 9
[2026/02/05 14:36] Sapphire: Gwen considers what they know of how this place is laid out. "I think it makes the most sense to push for the throne room, or cheifs cushion or whatever it is goblins use."
[2026/02/05 14:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: These creatures seem part insect, part mammal... and well equipped with claws and teeth. These are clearly vicious little guys. Also.... there's what look like... giant cockroaches... or leeches.... hard to tell which.... but you have never seen -them- either
[2026/02/05 14:37] Sapphire: does the hearthfire paladin have any power to generate light? is it limited?
[2026/02/05 14:37] Sapphire: She will track down her torch as well.
[2026/02/05 14:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: pretty sure you've been holding a torch all this time
[2026/02/05 14:39] Sapphire: it got dropped once or twice since her sword is two handed
[2026/02/05 14:39] Mecha: Neopti examines and takes her claws to skin the mammal parts."Let me know when you are ready to go. No magic you're gonna need me. ignoring that last fight."
[2026/02/05 14:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: better pick it up again!
[2026/02/05 14:39] Sapphire: She does so! that's what I was indicating!
[2026/02/05 14:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: ...what are you doing, Mecha...?
[2026/02/05 14:40] Mecha: peeling mammal skin for... reasons
[2026/02/05 14:40] Sapphire: which mammals?!?!?
[2026/02/05 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me blinks
[2026/02/05 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: so.... you want a skin....
[2026/02/05 14:41] Mecha: the mammal parts of the bastards we fought
[2026/02/05 14:41] Mecha: Indeed
[2026/02/05 14:41] Sapphire: you mean the goblins?
[2026/02/05 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: a skin, but no other parts?
[2026/02/05 14:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll.... Wisdom, I think....
[2026/02/05 14:42] D20: Mecha rolls 10
[2026/02/05 14:42] Mecha: You know, the teeth, claws as well
[2026/02/05 14:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: You now have one hacked creature skin
[2026/02/05 14:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: oh jesus
[2026/02/05 14:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: ....fuck.
[2026/02/05 14:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll 2d4
[2026/02/05 14:43] D4: Mecha rolls 4
[2026/02/05 14:43] D4: Mecha rolls 3
[2026/02/05 14:43] Sapphire: did Neopti nick the venom glands?
[2026/02/05 14:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: You now possess 4 teeth 3 claws
[2026/02/05 14:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: Nothing was said about venom glands
[2026/02/05 14:44] Sapphire: Gwen sighs. "Neopti, advance or retreat? I'm voting advance."
[2026/02/05 14:44] Mecha: I'm good with advancing
[2026/02/05 14:45] Joe: I ready myself to continue onwards, torch in one hand, battle axe in the other, eager to go
[2026/02/05 14:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: The two humans follow. I take it you're going back to the chamber you came from.
[2026/02/05 14:46] Sapphire: the direction we think leads to our target
[2026/02/05 14:46] Mecha: *Also how much skin did Neopti get*
[2026/02/05 14:46] Sapphire: ( I've mentally lost track of the map )
[2026/02/05 14:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: To the chamber with the shattered crates, awash with .... fluid
[2026/02/05 14:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sonja Bikergrrl: You now have one hacked creature skin
[2026/02/05 14:47] Mecha: Neopti rises ready to go. would collect the meat too but most likely poisonous
[2026/02/05 14:47] Sonja Bikergrrl: You're back in the chamber where the main passageway seems to go further onwards and downwards. Or, you can retreat and leave, but you have not discovered anything yet
[2026/02/05 14:48] Mecha: Onwards and downwards it is
[2026/02/05 14:48] Sapphire: Gwen moves to the main passageway, leading the way
[2026/02/05 14:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: You're halfway through the passage when you hear Sounds.
[2026/02/05 14:48] Sapphire: Sounds!
[2026/02/05 14:48] Joe: what sort of Sounds?
[2026/02/05 14:48] Mecha: Neopti looks for a place to hide or a way to sneak
[2026/02/05 14:49] Sonja Bikergrrl: A *thump* and a cry of pain, followed by: "Enough of this nonsense, Griznak, we're growing tired of it. Answer me, or I'll really have to hurt you, WHERE did you find that dragon egg?"
[2026/02/05 14:49] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha: d20
[2026/02/05 14:49] D20: Mecha rolls 13
[2026/02/05 14:49] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin: "And no more stupid talk about yellow caves with buzzing lights!"
[2026/02/05 14:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: Neopti looks about, but, you're in a passageway. There doesn't seem to be any place to hide.
[2026/02/05 14:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin, sounding aggrieved: "Me tell truth! Me was in yellow cave...." *Thump!*
[2026/02/05 14:51] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin: "I grow weary of this... be more persausive."
[2026/02/05 14:51] Joe: How close to us do the voices apear to be? Sneaking closer, quietly, to get as close as possible without alerting the Hobgoblin to our presence
[2026/02/05 14:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sounds like they're about a dozen feet ahead, or so.
[2026/02/05 14:52] Mecha: Neopti whispers."Think we found our goal."
[2026/02/05 14:53] Sonja Bikergrrl: So, what you doing?
[2026/02/05 14:53] Sapphire: Gwen marches ahead. "That sounds like you're abusing a prisoner," She announces. "And our Lady of Light and Hearth does not take kindly to those who mistreat their lessers. Griznak, was it? Do you need assistance?"
[2026/02/05 14:53] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay.... :-)
[2026/02/05 14:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: You march into the Scream Room: A small, echoing cave where prisoners are “questioned.” Chains hang from the walls; a brazier burns low. A Goblin torturer and a hobgoblin are present; they are busy "questioning" a goblin shackled to the wall.
[2026/02/05 14:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: In the dim, damp chamber, a small goblin is shackled to the cold stone wall. His green skin is mottled with dirt and sweat, and his sharp eyes flicker with fear. Opposite him stands another goblin, slightly taller, his hands balled into fists. This interrogator leans in close, as he presses for answers, his voice a sneering whisper.
[2026/02/05 14:55] Mecha: Neopti facepalms seeing this
[2026/02/05 14:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: The three of them stare at you, wide-eyed, clearly surprised.
[2026/02/05 14:55] Sapphire: only one prisoner visible?
[2026/02/05 14:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: You can see one (1) goblin shackled to the wall.
[2026/02/05 14:56] Sapphire: She takes a few steps forwards. "Of course, if this is some... misunderstanding, I can be reasonable about the situation."
[2026/02/05 14:56] Mecha: *Give me a moment must start dinner*
[2026/02/05 14:56] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll initiative!
[2026/02/05 14:56] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 16
[2026/02/05 14:56] D20: Joe rolls 7
[2026/02/05 14:56] D20: Sapphire rolls 4
[2026/02/05 14:57] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 15
[2026/02/05 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: While waiting for Mecha: plans?
[2026/02/05 14:57] Joe: Joe Paladin charges forward and inserts his battle axe firmly into the skull of the closest unchained goblin, hobgoblin, whatever is nearest
[2026/02/05 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: Decisive action!
[2026/02/05 14:57] Joe: while shaouting 'arrr!' in a threatening way
[2026/02/05 14:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire, you've lowest, unless Mecha beats your roll?
[2026/02/05 14:59] Sapphire: you mean fastest?
[2026/02/05 14:59] Sonja Bikergrrl: you rolled 4, currently you're first in intiative order
[2026/02/05 15:00] Sapphire: She'll advance up to the apparent torturer, sword forwards. "I advise you to drop your weapons," even though she fully expects these people to keep fighting
[2026/02/05 15:01] Sonja Bikergrrl: just waiting on Mecha, then
[2026/02/05 15:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: Eh, we'll press on.
[2026/02/05 15:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: Gwen advances, and gets ignored.
[2026/02/05 15:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: D20
[2026/02/05 15:03] Sapphire: they auto-decline my surrender demand then
[2026/02/05 15:03] Sapphire: ???
[2026/02/05 15:04] D20: Joe rolls 1
[2026/02/05 15:04] Sapphire: though i suppose joe wouldn't have let them
[2026/02/05 15:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: ....
[2026/02/05 15:04] Joe: theyre scum. they made their choices. they don't deserve to be negotiated with.
[2026/02/05 15:04] D20: Mecha rolls 19
[2026/02/05 15:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay, roll again, Joe
[2026/02/05 15:05] D20: Joe rolls 11
[2026/02/05 15:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: You charge forwards, screaming "ARR!" You miss the hobgoblin you were aiming for. The battle axe slams into the rock right next to the chained goblins' head. Sparks fly.
[2026/02/05 15:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: Guy with metal thunderstick goes next. He adjusts something, points, and there's a loud BANG
[2026/02/05 15:06] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 14
[2026/02/05 15:07] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 6
[2026/02/05 15:07] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 5
[2026/02/05 15:07] Sapphire: who did he hit?
[2026/02/05 15:07] Sonja Bikergrrl: The hobgoblin goes down, with blood spraying out in a huge spray
[2026/02/05 15:08] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin torturer, to Gwen: "Wait! Wait! What you say?"
[2026/02/05 15:08] Sonja Bikergrrl: Neopti! Action?
[2026/02/05 15:08] Mecha: who is left?
[2026/02/05 15:09] Mecha: smeg it, just charging one of the unchained and going to try for a clawed uppercut to one
[2026/02/05 15:09] D20: Mecha rolls 10
[2026/02/05 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin chained to wall, goblin waving a poker
[2026/02/05 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: you get two attacks, second roll?
[2026/02/05 15:09] Sapphire: She smiles. "Set your weapons down, and I'll let you live. That means you too, Joe. WE're here on a quest and your death isn't needed."
[2026/02/05 15:10] D20: Mecha rolls 4
[2026/02/05 15:10] Sonja Bikergrrl: You wave your fists before the goblin.
[2026/02/05 15:10] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin torturer only has a poker in his hand.
[2026/02/05 15:11] Sapphire: that counts as a weapon, and she'll gesture for him to drop it
[2026/02/05 15:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: He follows your look, sees the poker in his hand, and drops it with a surprised "AArgh!"
[2026/02/05 15:12] Sapphire: (( What was the name of the goblin we're trying to track down? )
[2026/02/05 15:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: (Snaggletooth)
[2026/02/05 15:13] Sapphire: "Good. Now then, we're tracking down Snaggletooth. He took something that doesn't belong to him, and we're here to get things put back right."
[2026/02/05 15:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin torturer backs away, eyes narrowing. "You humans stupid! Snaggletooth have dragon, you all die!"
[2026/02/05 15:14] Joe: (pull as hard as possible on the battle axe to detach it from the wall)
[2026/02/05 15:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: You regain your axe.
[2026/02/05 15:15] Joe: "Now let that be a lesson to you."
[2026/02/05 15:16] Sapphire: "Maybe. I wouldn't underestimate us. And if you're right then you have nothing to fear sending us his way, right?"
[2026/02/05 15:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'm sure you have the chained goblin quaking in his shackles
[2026/02/05 15:16] Mecha: well then if he has a dragon you should point us in the right direction so we can die faster.
[2026/02/05 15:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin torturer sneers at Gwen, then looks at Neopti. "You keep going down there-" *points* "-you find you death!"
[2026/02/05 15:17] Sapphire: "From the dragon, or other tricks your people have set up?"
[2026/02/05 15:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin torturer: "You go see, you find out!"
[2026/02/05 15:18] Mecha: Neopti is gonna kick him in the shins."Gobbo jerk."
[2026/02/05 15:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20
[2026/02/05 15:18] D20: Mecha rolls 15
[2026/02/05 15:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: You boot him squarely in the shins. He jumps up and down, holding his foot. "You little jerk!"
[2026/02/05 15:20] Joe: Is there a spare manacles on the wall which we can put the goblin torturer into?
[2026/02/05 15:20] Mecha: Takes one to know one." Neopti sticks her tongue out and begins heading in the direction he pointed.
[2026/02/05 15:20] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20 Joe
[2026/02/05 15:21] D20: Joe rolls 17
[2026/02/05 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: Doesn't seem to be.
[2026/02/05 15:21] Joe: pity
[2026/02/05 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: blame the dice, not the DM :-)
[2026/02/05 15:23] Joe: strangely the only person i felt any sens e of blame toward is the goblin torturer
[2026/02/05 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: right, blame him
[2026/02/05 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: so, moving on?
[2026/02/05 15:23] Joe: yeah i kick his other shin
[2026/02/05 15:23] Joe: moving on
[2026/02/05 15:24] Sapphire: How complicated does it look to release the chained goblin?
[2026/02/05 15:24] Joe: oh we should interrogate it about the yellow room
[2026/02/05 15:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20, Joe
[2026/02/05 15:24] D20: Joe rolls 13
[2026/02/05 15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: You kick some stones down the passageway
[2026/02/05 15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: D20, Sapphire
[2026/02/05 15:25] D20: Sapphire rolls 20
[2026/02/05 15:25] Joe: i hate this room
[2026/02/05 15:26] Joe: "what was in that medicine?" I ask the weird humans
[2026/02/05 15:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: yes, Sapphire. There's a little catch on the cuffs, if your run your wrist against it, your body heat should open it easily.
[2026/02/05 15:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: The woman in the white coat nods. "Good help."
[2026/02/05 15:27] Sapphire: She'll go ahead and trip the cuff catch
[2026/02/05 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: roll d20
[2026/02/05 15:27] D20: Sapphire rolls 7
[2026/02/05 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: Just as the sharp and rusty shard starts to dig into your wrist, you figure that -might- not be the way.
[2026/02/05 15:28] Sapphire: /me /
[2026/02/05 15:28] Sapphire: /me :/
[2026/02/05 15:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: at least you made the save before blood loss occured
[2026/02/05 15:29] Sapphire: why would you presume gwen is brain damaged?
[2026/02/05 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: as I said... " Sonja Bikergrrl: blame the dice, not the DM :-)". And... [15:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: D20, Sapphire
[15:25] D20: Sapphire rolls 20
[2026/02/05 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: last I heard, a nat20 on an ability check is a critical fail
[2026/02/05 15:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: why did you expect anything other than something utterly ridiculuous?
[2026/02/05 15:31] Sapphire: ..........
[2026/02/05 15:31] Sapphire: moving on then
[2026/02/05 15:31] Joe: I Detect Evil in this horrible room
[2026/02/05 15:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: blame the dice, not the DM :-P
[2026/02/05 15:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: The room is not evil, nor is the DM who put the room in place.
[2026/02/05 15:32] Joe: the dice! its the goddamn dice all along!
[2026/02/05 15:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: you know they're cursed :-)
[2026/02/05 15:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: So, moving on?
[2026/02/05 15:32] Joe: moving swiftly on
[2026/02/05 15:33] Sapphire: yes
[2026/02/05 15:33] Mecha: yes
[2026/02/05 15:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: The passageway heads steeply down, to what looks like part store-room, part animal pen. Its a cold, damp storage cave filled with stolen livestock (sheep, pigs), sacks of grain, barrels of ale, and ill-gotten goods.
[2026/02/05 15:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: Also, if you listen carefully... voices
[2026/02/05 15:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin 1: "We sure that dragon is dragon? Thought dragons big."
[2026/02/05 15:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin 2: "It flies, it breathes death. It dragon, close enough."
[2026/02/05 15:35] Sapphire: Gwen would probably agree with that logic.
[2026/02/05 15:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin 1: "Suppose so. We attack soon?"
[2026/02/05 15:35] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin 2: "Snaggletooth say so. Rather find more dragon, but Griznak keep telling stupid story about yellow cave with buzzing lights."
[2026/02/05 15:36] Sapphire: Gwen is now rather regretting not simply smashing the chains open.
[2026/02/05 15:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin 1: "Griznak bloody idiot, even for ratboy."
[2026/02/05 15:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin 2: "Maybe... hey! Wolf sense something! Humans?"
[2026/02/05 15:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: You may be in trouble.
[2026/02/05 15:39] Sapphire: Can we hear any wolves?
[2026/02/05 15:39] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20
[2026/02/05 15:40] D20: Sapphire rolls 6
[2026/02/05 15:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: Judging by the snuffling and growling, there's one or two wolves
[2026/02/05 15:42] Sapphire: "Always hard to get animals to back down," she comments quietly. "Sometimes you can scream at them loud enough it works."
[2026/02/05 15:42] Mecha: Neopti looks at the others."Can we not pick a fight this time? I say we let the animals loose send them down and while the goblins are distracted we sneak through."
[2026/02/05 15:43] Sapphire: "The sheep need to go back up to the surface."
[2026/02/05 15:44] Joe: Searching the ill-gotten goods. Fill my backpack with any passable food.
[2026/02/05 15:44] Sapphire: we don't see any sheep fodder down here do we?
[2026/02/05 15:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20
[2026/02/05 15:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe gains loaves of bread, wheels of cheese, some apples
[2026/02/05 15:45] D20: Sapphire rolls 10
[2026/02/05 15:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: There's a bale or two of hay. I'm pretty sure sheep can eat that.
[2026/02/05 15:46] Sapphire: So the goblins figured that much out about their diets
[2026/02/05 15:47] Sonja Bikergrrl: hardly difficult to figure that grazing herbivores eat grass
[2026/02/05 15:48] Sapphire: hmmmm
[2026/02/05 15:48] Mecha: So you need the sheep. Get them and go. For crying out loud. Hells I'm starting to think they don't know anything about Gaular
[2026/02/05 15:48] Sapphire: layout of the room?
[2026/02/05 15:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: so, what you all doing?
[2026/02/05 15:49] Sonja Bikergrrl: It's a big, roughly circular chamber with a passage and steps at the back. It seems to be lit with flickering light
[2026/02/05 15:49] Sapphire: the middle is open? we heard voices, can i tell where the hobgoblins talking about dragons were?
[2026/02/05 15:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: Down the passageway.
[2026/02/05 15:50] Sapphire: Alright, moving to the gate holding the sheep, ect in and opening it up
[2026/02/05 15:51] Sapphire: "With luck they'll smell and avoid the wolves."
[2026/02/05 15:51] Sonja Bikergrrl: What are you planning on doing with the sheep?
[2026/02/05 15:51] Joe: Unlike those bastard alien things, Im fairly sure wolves are afraid of fire. I'm also quite sure hay will burn and can be used in this context. I experiment with a handful of hay to learn how easily it can burn. Not the hay bales, just a handful of it held into my torch to experiment. It might become useful.
[2026/02/05 15:51] Sapphire: the hope is they'll instinctively head back to the surface
[2026/02/05 15:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: It burns.
[2026/02/05 15:52] Joe: awesome
[2026/02/05 15:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: The sheep exunt stage left, with divers "baa"ing.
[2026/02/05 15:53] Joe: i want to make some hay bombs from handfuls of hay wrapped into knots. Lots of them.
[2026/02/05 15:53] Mecha: Neopti looks at this and nopes as she starts to follow the sheep
[2026/02/05 15:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: ...hay bombs?
[2026/02/05 15:54] Sapphire: you know that it'll just burn, not explode?
[2026/02/05 15:54] Joe: I'm liking the sheep rescuing going on
[2026/02/05 15:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: fleeing somewhere, Neopti?
[2026/02/05 15:54] Joe: Yeah they will burn and frighten the wolves and confuse the goblins
[2026/02/05 15:54] Mecha: Yes to the surface. got leather to tan and sheep to rescue Neopti guesses
[2026/02/05 15:55] Sapphire: oh yeah. neopti didn't actually agree to help us so much as started following us around
[2026/02/05 15:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay, I'll have Neopti out of the following
[2026/02/05 15:55] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire, Joe?
[2026/02/05 15:56] Sapphire: Checking out the next passage downhill
[2026/02/05 15:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin voices: "Someones' coming! Wolf not happy, it be humans!"
[2026/02/05 15:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe?
[2026/02/05 15:57] Joe: Making a nice little row of hay bombs along the front of the passageway which has wolves down it, and setting fire to them with a torch
[2026/02/05 15:58] Joe: in response to the Hobgoblin voice
[2026/02/05 15:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'm a little unclear on what a "hay bomb" is
[2026/02/05 15:58] Joe: a knot of hay which is set on fire and can be thrown
[2026/02/05 15:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay....
[2026/02/05 15:58] Joe: so the fire frightens the anmals
[2026/02/05 15:58] Sapphire: that's not a bomb, that's a flammable
[2026/02/05 15:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: so Sapphire is heading down the passage, you're hanging back
[2026/02/05 15:59] Sapphire: gonna keep out of the way of the flame though
[2026/02/05 15:59] Sonja Bikergrrl: so, not going down
[2026/02/05 15:59] Sapphire: i imagine the hay bales are square as well
[2026/02/05 15:59] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll d20 I guess
[2026/02/05 15:59] Joe: yeah, the 'wolves' this hobgoblin is talking about might be more of those wierd ass mofos
[2026/02/05 15:59] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 19
[2026/02/05 16:00] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe, Sapphire: d20
[2026/02/05 16:00] D20: Joe rolls 14
[2026/02/05 16:01] D20: Sapphire rolls 15
[2026/02/05 16:02] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 18
[2026/02/05 16:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: *GIGGLES*
[2026/02/05 16:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: A wolf bursts out of the passageway, snarling viciously, followed by two hobgoblins branishing rusty curved swords!
[2026/02/05 16:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe, you're first
[2026/02/05 16:04] Joe: Using my torch to upset the wolf (left hand) and hitting hobgobs with battle axe if they come too close (right hand)
[2026/02/05 16:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: How are you doing that?
[2026/02/05 16:05] Joe: waving the torch in their faces and hitting them if they get too close
[2026/02/05 16:05] Sapphire: that does sound like two attacks
[2026/02/05 16:05] Joe: yeah i guess
[2026/02/05 16:06] Joe: mostly using the torch to frighten them back
[2026/02/05 16:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'll assume you're waving the torch at the wolve
[2026/02/05 16:06] Joe: yes
[2026/02/05 16:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: eh. Roll.... idk... call it: high or low? Then roll D20
[2026/02/05 16:09] D20: Joe rolls 11
[2026/02/05 16:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: "call it, high or low, then roll..."
[2026/02/05 16:09] Joe: oh okay, high
[2026/02/05 16:09] D20: Joe rolls 19
[2026/02/05 16:09] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 7
[2026/02/05 16:10] Sonja Bikergrrl: The wolf growls, and decides Gwen is a better target.
[2026/02/05 16:10] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire!
[2026/02/05 16:10] Joe: sorry Gwen
[2026/02/05 16:10] Sapphire: She's armed and armored
[2026/02/05 16:11] Sonja Bikergrrl: and doing...?
[2026/02/05 16:12] Sapphire: Use [Sword] on [Wolf]
[2026/02/05 16:13] Sapphire: "Back off, furred monster!" she shouts at it while swinging her blade overhand
[2026/02/05 16:13] D20: Sapphire rolls 14
[2026/02/05 16:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll D20 (and see my previous comments re: square brackets, it makes it so much harder to get a coherent log later)
[2026/02/05 16:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: 2d4 for the wolf
[2026/02/05 16:14] D4: Sapphire rolls 3
[2026/02/05 16:14] D4: Sapphire rolls 1
[2026/02/05 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: 4 points of damage
[2026/02/05 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: Gut with metal thunderstick, pulls trigger and BANG
[2026/02/05 16:15] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 20
[2026/02/05 16:15] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 4
[2026/02/05 16:15] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 4
[2026/02/05 16:15] Sapphire: o.o
[2026/02/05 16:15] Joe: !
[2026/02/05 16:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: One of the hobgoblins' head explodes. Brain, bone, blood fly in all directions.
[2026/02/05 16:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: Wolf: attacks Gwen
[2026/02/05 16:17] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 9
[2026/02/05 16:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: or not.
[2026/02/05 16:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: Hobgoblin: attacks Joe
[2026/02/05 16:17] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 18
[2026/02/05 16:17] D8: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 7
[2026/02/05 16:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: ....
[2026/02/05 16:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: blame the dice, not the DM :-)
[2026/02/05 16:18] Sapphire: that's exactly his current hp, isn't it?
[2026/02/05 16:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe is down. End of combat round.
[2026/02/05 16:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: D20, death save.
[2026/02/05 16:19] D20: Joe rolls 17
[2026/02/05 16:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: One fail.
[2026/02/05 16:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: Gwen!
[2026/02/05 16:20] Joe: I'm going to bring my own dice to the next session
[2026/02/05 16:20] Sapphire: so how many hostiles are still up right now?
[2026/02/05 16:21] Sapphire: can I swing my sword into the hobo that just took out Joe?
[2026/02/05 16:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: You can. Roll d20 if you want to.
[2026/02/05 16:21] D20: Sapphire rolls 17
[2026/02/05 16:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: and 2d4
[2026/02/05 16:22] D4: Sapphire rolls 1
[2026/02/05 16:22] D4: Sapphire rolls 1
[2026/02/05 16:22] Sapphire: /me :(
[2026/02/05 16:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: ....
[2026/02/05 16:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: 'k.
[2026/02/05 16:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: Guy with metal thunderstick next
[2026/02/05 16:22] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 7
[2026/02/05 16:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sparks and ricohets of fast moving metal, but no damage.
[2026/02/05 16:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Woman in white coat: stabalizes Joe. 1hp, back to alive.
[2026/02/05 16:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: Wolf and hobgoblin attack Gwen
[2026/02/05 16:24] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 14
[2026/02/05 16:24] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 8
[2026/02/05 16:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: Wolf hits AC 4, luckily Gwen is AC 3
[2026/02/05 16:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: end of combat round: Joe?
[2026/02/05 16:25] Sapphire: dang, how much damage do i take?
[2026/02/05 16:25] Joe: I make some burbling noises and wish I had used my trusty reliable axe instead of playing with fire
[2026/02/05 16:25] Joe: "whats in that stuff?"
[2026/02/05 16:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: roughly zero, Sapphire.
[2026/02/05 16:26] Sapphire: don't we all
[2026/02/05 16:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: Woman: "Good help."
[2026/02/05 16:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire
[2026/02/05 16:28] Sapphire: She defends Joe with her life, attacking the hobgobling that hook him down, not yet aware he's back up.
[2026/02/05 16:28] D20: Sapphire rolls 20
[2026/02/05 16:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: Miss
[2026/02/05 16:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: Roll 2d4 ;-D
[2026/02/05 16:29] D4: Sapphire rolls 3
[2026/02/05 16:29] D4: Sapphire rolls 3
[2026/02/05 16:29] Joe: watches Sapphire in admiration and gratitude
[2026/02/05 16:29] Sapphire: right, natural 20s are crit fails in this system
[2026/02/05 16:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: He's down.
[2026/02/05 16:30] Sapphire: *headdesks*
[2026/02/05 16:30] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 18
[2026/02/05 16:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: Guy with metal firestick shoots wolf
[2026/02/05 16:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: and Sapphire: nat20s are DM kekfuel in this system
[2026/02/05 16:30] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 5
[2026/02/05 16:30] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/02/05 16:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: Wolf snuffs it
[2026/02/05 16:31] Sapphire: yeah, but accidentally slaying joe on a 5% chance is....
[2026/02/05 16:31] Sapphire: i was already kinda in a grumpy mood
[2026/02/05 16:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: I hadn't noticed.
[2026/02/05 16:31] Sapphire: so, glad you're kek'ing it up
[2026/02/05 16:32] Sapphire: i suppose the hobgoblin will keel me too next turn
[2026/02/05 16:32] Sonja Bikergrrl: You find: a Note: "Find out where dragon egg from, beat it out of Griznak if he no talk. We attack human village in three days, all be ready! Snaggletooth."
[2026/02/05 16:32] Sapphire: kill*
[2026/02/05 16:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: It looks Important. You might want to take that to the village.
[2026/02/05 16:33] Sapphire: are we not still in combat?
[2026/02/05 16:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: only with dead bodies
[2026/02/05 16:34] Sapphire: you said i missed the hobgoblin and then asked me to roll damage against an ally
[2026/02/05 16:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: ...the DM is allowed to interject moments of levity into the game to increase local humour and game satisfaction, if not girly action.
[2026/02/05 16:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: it's in the rules.
[2026/02/05 16:36] Sapphire: ....i'm wondering if i'm the only one who didn't get the joke then
[2026/02/05 16:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: Probably.
[2026/02/05 16:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: when was a nat20 in combat anything over than a critical hit?
[2026/02/05 16:38] Sapphire: when the GM tells me it misses?
[2026/02/05 16:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: O_O
[2026/02/05 16:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: and on that frown of "what the duck" I think we'll call it there and get back to it next week :-)
[2026/02/05 16:39] Sapphire: so... what's the current situation , then?
[2026/02/05 16:39] Mecha: This one thinks Mistress saying miss was an attempt at humor
[2026/02/05 16:39] Sapphire: that..... hmmmm.
[2026/02/05 16:40] Sapphire: who is the "he" that went down then?
[2026/02/05 16:40] Joe: me probably
[2026/02/05 16:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: current situation is you're in a blood splattered cave with a dead hobgoblin, a hobgoblin with an exploded head (it's okay, he's practicing law somewhere) and a wolf playing dead (I'm a Brit, we don't kill animals here! I make an exception for PCs).
[2026/02/05 16:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: ....the hobgoblin....
[2026/02/05 16:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: Admittedly I assumed their gender
[2026/02/05 16:41] Joe: a shobgoblin
[2026/02/05 16:41] Sapphire: that.... ok, that actually makes more sense than what I thought had just happened
[2026/02/05 16:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: alright, time for Brits to be in bed
[2026/02/05 16:44] Sapphire: /me pulls pillow pile out of bag of holding, buries sonja in soft