[2026/01/22 14:57] Sonja Bikergrrl: so, you were going to enter a chamber of goblins, while carrying a light source, and spread out
[2026/01/22 14:58] Sapphire: Gwen was the one with the tworch and sword, planning to be obvious and distract attention from their flanker-sneaker
[2026/01/22 14:59] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay, roll d20 for initiative
[2026/01/22 14:59] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 7
[2026/01/22 14:59] D20: Sapphire rolls 12
[2026/01/22 15:00] D20: Mecha rolls 17
[2026/01/22 15:01] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me awaits Joe
[2026/01/22 15:01] Sapphire: he might have finished turning to stone
[2026/01/22 15:02] D20: Joe rolls 4
[2026/01/22 15:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: As you enter the chamber you just have time to notice the passage clearly forks, a path straight, a way left. But you got bigger problems. There's crates arranged as a crude barricade with furtive figures behind them.
[2026/01/22 15:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe, what you going to do?
[2026/01/22 15:04] Joe: are the crates floor-to-ceiling or is there room to climb up them? Arwe they light enough to pick up and move/throw ?
[2026/01/22 15:06] Sonja Bikergrrl: they're crate sized, which would be roughly 3'x3'x3' or so. You can measure them if you want, but, that might not be advisable. The roof here is a comfy 8' high. Are you going to try picking one up?
[2026/01/22 15:07] Joe: If there is no way thorugh them without moving them.. the crates are on our side of the two passages? Could we choose the passage with no crates ?
[2026/01/22 15:07] Sonja Bikergrrl: In either case, you need to go past at least one crate, with at least one figure behind it
[2026/01/22 15:09] Joe: aw if there is a way around, probably move around it with my flail ready to strike from the hand which does not have a otrch in it
[2026/01/22 15:09] Joe: *torch
[2026/01/22 15:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: so, you're moving around a crate, but not actively attacking?
[2026/01/22 15:11] Sapphire: do the goblins seem heavily armoed?
[2026/01/22 15:11] Sonja Bikergrrl: beyond the usual? You've not seen anything out the ordinary yet
[2026/01/22 15:12] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblins come out to attack; there's three so one each
[2026/01/22 15:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: one for Joe (shielded)
[2026/01/22 15:13] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 18
[2026/01/22 15:13] Joe: hesitating before wading into a combat, to see what the other party members are doing
[2026/01/22 15:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: yeah, that missed
[2026/01/22 15:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: One for Sapphire
[2026/01/22 15:13] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 15
[2026/01/22 15:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: naa.
[2026/01/22 15:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: One for Mecha
[2026/01/22 15:14] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 15
[2026/01/22 15:14] Sapphire: wre those attacks?
[2026/01/22 15:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: He bounces a rock over her head.
[2026/01/22 15:14] D4: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 1
[2026/01/22 15:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: 'tis but a scratch, clearly hit nothing important
[2026/01/22 15:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire next!
[2026/01/22 15:16] Sapphire: so the goblins are now attacking us, yes?
[2026/01/22 15:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mmhmm. They seem to object to you tramping through their home.
[2026/01/22 15:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: Perhaps next time bring a bunch of flowers, or, some rats
[2026/01/22 15:17] Joe: -seacrhes my backpack-
[2026/01/22 15:18] Sapphire: Gwen lets her torch drop to the floor, still lit, so she can grip her sword with both hands, swingging at the one who attacked her.
[2026/01/22 15:18] D20: Sapphire rolls 4
[2026/01/22 15:18] Sapphire: "We're here to talk to your boss, I don't need blood from you, but will give you a fight if you want one!"
[2026/01/22 15:18] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay. Do you plan hitting anything?
[2026/01/22 15:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha
[2026/01/22 15:20] Mecha: "She doesn't need blood from you, but until one of you talks I don't mind."Before jumping at the gob that attacked her, trying to aim for the leg
[2026/01/22 15:20] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20
[2026/01/22 15:20] D20: Mecha rolls 1
[2026/01/22 15:21] Mecha: ...
[2026/01/22 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: You do a flying tackle. You miss. You slam face first into the floor.
[2026/01/22 15:21] D6: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 4
[2026/01/22 15:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: You take two damage, and are now prone.
[2026/01/22 15:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: Want to roll for Wuffles?
[2026/01/22 15:22] Mecha: Almost scared to but will
[2026/01/22 15:22] D20: Mecha rolls 14
[2026/01/22 15:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: Fluffles leaps to the attack!
[2026/01/22 15:22] D4: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/01/22 15:22] D4: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 4
[2026/01/22 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: He doesn't so much as tear his throat out, as, tear his head off.
[2026/01/22 15:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: Back to Joe!
[2026/01/22 15:24] Joe: Im going to hold the torch high in one hand so everyone can see what theyre doing, and flail the crap into the nearest goblin with the other hand
[2026/01/22 15:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20
[2026/01/22 15:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: in your own time :P
[2026/01/22 15:26] D20: Joe rolls 12
[2026/01/22 15:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: hits AC 8
[2026/01/22 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: goblins are AC 7
[2026/01/22 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: but it was a nice try
[2026/01/22 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin stabs back
[2026/01/22 15:27] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 19
[2026/01/22 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: ooh.
[2026/01/22 15:27] D4: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/01/22 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: you'll live.
[2026/01/22 15:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: one attacks Sapphire
[2026/01/22 15:27] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 14
[2026/01/22 15:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: she's fine.
[2026/01/22 15:28] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire!
[2026/01/22 15:28] Sapphire: Se steps fowards and counterswings with her two handed sword!
[2026/01/22 15:28] D20: Sapphire rolls 20
[2026/01/22 15:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: alRIGHT!
[2026/01/22 15:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: Critical or double damage?
[2026/01/22 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: Also, 2d4
[2026/01/22 15:30] Sapphire: was there a critical deck we pull from?
[2026/01/22 15:30] Sapphire: i like fancy crits
[2026/01/22 15:30] D4: Sapphire rolls 2
[2026/01/22 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: the critical injuries; or you can opt for double damage
[2026/01/22 15:30] D4: Sapphire rolls 4
[2026/01/22 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: well
[2026/01/22 15:30] Sonja Bikergrrl: kinda moot
[2026/01/22 15:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: down he goes
[2026/01/22 15:31] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha: (prone): what you doing? Getting back up, or catching up on beauty sleep?
[2026/01/22 15:32] Mecha: I'mg onna lay there for a moment, face down ass and tail up arms flat against the ground."I... I'm just going to stay like this for a moment with my embarrassment."
[2026/01/22 15:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: A goblin scurries out and lifts up a small box with what looks like a round glass on the front. He presses a button and a strip of magnesium flares brightly with a loud POOF! He runs off cackling. The picture will indeed last longer.
[2026/01/22 15:33] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe!
[2026/01/22 15:33] Mecha: *Snerk*
[2026/01/22 15:34] Joe: Repeatedly try to hit the nearest goblin with my footmans flail
[2026/01/22 15:34] D20: Joe rolls 18
[2026/01/22 15:34] Sonja Bikergrrl: d8
[2026/01/22 15:36] D8: Joe rolls 5
[2026/01/22 15:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: your "footmans flail" literally hacks into the goblins' neck, and separates head from shoulders. You do keep your bludgeoning weapons sharp.
[2026/01/22 15:36] Joe: whestone
[2026/01/22 15:36] Joe: *whetstone
[2026/01/22 15:36] Sonja Bikergrrl: You've slain the goblins. Now you get to choose... left, straight... or what are you going to do?
[2026/01/22 15:36] Joe: Open all the crates
[2026/01/22 15:37] Sonja Bikergrrl: ALL the crates?
[2026/01/22 15:37] Sapphire: are they sealed?
[2026/01/22 15:37] Mecha: Neopti slowly gets to her feet and hugs Fluffles."Thanks for the save."
[2026/01/22 15:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: Fluffles wags tail and pants over Neopti
[2026/01/22 15:38] Sonja Bikergrrl: crates tend to be sealed, yes, to keep the contents inside
[2026/01/22 15:39] Joe: nothing a battle axe can't un-seal
[2026/01/22 15:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay, the first one, when smashed open, contains rocks, which tumble out with loud clattering and rumbling
[2026/01/22 15:40] Sonja Bikergrrl: the second was home to rats who all leap out to attack, sinking their teeth into your hands and anywhere else they can
[2026/01/22 15:40] Mecha: Neopti watches as she takes some meat from her rations and offers it to Fluffles." Is your friend here always like this?" She asks to Gwen
[2026/01/22 15:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: luckily you're immune to disease
[2026/01/22 15:41] Joe: having been bitten by rodents irl i can report its an acquired taste
[2026/01/22 15:41] Sapphire: "Ah!" she backs away from the rats, brandishing her tourch
[2026/01/22 15:41] Sonja Bikergrrl: the third one appears to have been used as a gardrobe. You release a rather large quantity of... eh, you know.
[2026/01/22 15:42] Sonja Bikergrrl: Four goblins come from the passageway opposite they way you came in. "'Ere, what's all this, we heard a right commotion and we heard... EWWWWWW who poured poo all over the floor? Dirty humans!"
[2026/01/22 15:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: you're first....
[2026/01/22 15:43] Joe: I start throwing rocks at the goblins
[2026/01/22 15:43] Joe: or rats
[2026/01/22 15:43] Joe: i start throwing rats at the goblins
[2026/01/22 15:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: ...okay... d20
[2026/01/22 15:43] D20: Joe rolls 11
[2026/01/22 15:43] Sonja Bikergrrl: I'm afraid that's a miss
[2026/01/22 15:43] Joe: (its like paper scissors stone)
[2026/01/22 15:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: Four goblins charge forwards, two to Joe, one to Sapphire, one to Mecha
[2026/01/22 15:44] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 17
[2026/01/22 15:44] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 9
[2026/01/22 15:44] D4: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/01/22 15:44] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe: stabbed for two damage
[2026/01/22 15:44] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 14
[2026/01/22 15:44] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 14
[2026/01/22 15:45] D4: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 3
[2026/01/22 15:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha: stabbed for 3 damage
[2026/01/22 15:45] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire! You next
[2026/01/22 15:46] Sapphire: She defends herself, rather annoyed at the mess she's having to fight through after opening crates so recklessly.
[2026/01/22 15:46] D20: Sapphire rolls 15
[2026/01/22 15:46] Mecha: And Neopti is down
[2026/01/22 15:46] Sonja Bikergrrl: hits AC 5... roll 2d4
[2026/01/22 15:48] D4: Sapphire rolls 3
[2026/01/22 15:48] D4: Sapphire rolls 3
[2026/01/22 15:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: he's dead, brutally chopped in half
[2026/01/22 15:48] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha? Prone, so any attack is at -4.
[2026/01/22 15:49] Mecha: No down as in 0hp
[2026/01/22 15:49] Sonja Bikergrrl: you got 2hp.
[2026/01/22 15:49] Mecha: Must have messed up math on this ones part then she isn't down she leaps at the nearest gobbo
[2026/01/22 15:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: 2d20
[2026/01/22 15:50] D20: Mecha rolls 1
[2026/01/22 15:50] D20: Mecha rolls 5
[2026/01/22 15:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: O_O
[2026/01/22 15:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe!
[2026/01/22 15:50] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me just isn't saying anything.
[2026/01/22 15:51] Mecha: last time she jumped and crit failed you rolled damage only fair to do it again
[2026/01/22 15:51] Sonja Bikergrrl: Temp damage, a fall of 5' should wind and weaken, not kill.
[2026/01/22 15:52] Sonja Bikergrrl: you'll recover one more hp next round.
[2026/01/22 15:53] Joe: attack anther goblin
[2026/01/22 15:53] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20
[2026/01/22 15:53] D20: Joe rolls 13
[2026/01/22 15:53] Sonja Bikergrrl: hit! d8
[2026/01/22 15:53] Joe: yes!
[2026/01/22 15:53] D8: Joe rolls 4
[2026/01/22 15:53] Sonja Bikergrrl: that one snuffs it
[2026/01/22 15:53] Joe: good
[2026/01/22 15:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: one attacks Joe, one Sapphire
[2026/01/22 15:54] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 4
[2026/01/22 15:54] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 16
[2026/01/22 15:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: that was close
[2026/01/22 15:54] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire!
[2026/01/22 15:55] Sapphire: what's the state of the battle and the room?
[2026/01/22 15:56] Sonja Bikergrrl: The room is at full hp, awash with goblin pee and poo, stinking of rotten flesh and home to displaced rats. Two goblins remain expressing their displeasure at being disturbed by splintering wood sounds.
[2026/01/22 15:57] Sapphire: "Call your boss here. Better for us to deal with him directly," she announces.
[2026/01/22 15:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: "Naa! You uglies, you filthy humans, you die, we take heads to boss!"
[2026/01/22 15:58] Sonja Bikergrrl: lines have been drawn in this discussion, and you and the goblins stand on different sides.
[2026/01/22 16:00] Joe: guess we need to do more fighting
[2026/01/22 16:00] Sonja Bikergrrl: Yep... Sapphire?
[2026/01/22 16:01] Sapphire: "Look around you. What makes you think you'll win where your fellows fell?" She prepares her sword for removing the goblins who refuse to run
[2026/01/22 16:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: The goblins just scream blood thirsty cries!
[2026/01/22 16:02] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha, what you doing?
[2026/01/22 16:02] Mecha: Just gonna fling a handful of poo at one of the gobs
[2026/01/22 16:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: okay... d20...
[2026/01/22 16:03] D20: Mecha rolls 3
[2026/01/22 16:03] Mecha: ...
[2026/01/22 16:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: your monkey impression has no effect
[2026/01/22 16:03] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe
[2026/01/22 16:04] Joe: attack the goblins!
[2026/01/22 16:04] D20: Joe rolls 2
[2026/01/22 16:04] Sonja Bikergrrl: No you don't.
[2026/01/22 16:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: Gobins attack Joe and Sapphire
[2026/01/22 16:05] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 18
[2026/01/22 16:05] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 3
[2026/01/22 16:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: Not looking good for Joe
[2026/01/22 16:05] D4: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 2
[2026/01/22 16:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: seriously wounded
[2026/01/22 16:05] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire!
[2026/01/22 16:07] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me flings a d20 at Sapphire
[2026/01/22 16:09] D20: Sapphire rolls 16
[2026/01/22 16:09] Sapphire: ack!
[2026/01/22 16:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: /me assumes that's attacking... so... 2d4
[2026/01/22 16:09] Sapphire: swinging sword. "Use your proper weapon, joe!"
[2026/01/22 16:09] D4: Sapphire rolls 4
[2026/01/22 16:09] D4: Sapphire rolls 2
[2026/01/22 16:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: he's ded.
[2026/01/22 16:09] Sonja Bikergrrl: the goblin, not Joe
[2026/01/22 16:10] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha!
[2026/01/22 16:10] Mecha: Screw it gonna try the jump attack. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Jumping at, claws out
[2026/01/22 16:10] D20: Mecha rolls 3
[2026/01/22 16:11] Sonja Bikergrrl: and another D20
[2026/01/22 16:11] Mecha: ... Or retire and start a bakery
[2026/01/22 16:11] D20: Mecha rolls 9
[2026/01/22 16:11] Sonja Bikergrrl: what are you going to call the bakery?
[2026/01/22 16:11] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe!
[2026/01/22 16:12] Mecha: Bakery name ---> Eat baked goods ya bastards
[2026/01/22 16:13] Joe: any goblins left alive ?
[2026/01/22 16:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: One, yes
[2026/01/22 16:13] Sonja Bikergrrl: you might want to do something about that
[2026/01/22 16:13] Joe: i attack it with my battle axe
[2026/01/22 16:14] Sonja Bikergrrl: d20
[2026/01/22 16:14] D20: Joe rolls 1
[2026/01/22 16:14] Joe: oh ffs
[2026/01/22 16:14] Sapphire: oh
[2026/01/22 16:14] Sapphire: maybe we find out what was in the last crate
[2026/01/22 16:15] Sapphire: because now it's got an axe in it
[2026/01/22 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: just imagine I said something sarcastic and snarky about how you toss you weapon into a corner and fall face down into a shallow pool of goblin pee
[2026/01/22 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: goblin goes for Sapphire
[2026/01/22 16:15] D20: Sonja Bikergrrl rolls 1
[2026/01/22 16:15] Sonja Bikergrrl: Joe gets company.
[2026/01/22 16:16] Sonja Bikergrrl: Sapphire?
[2026/01/22 16:16] Sapphire: She moves over to set her greaves on the goblins arm so it can't fight. "Will you surrender?"
[2026/01/22 16:17] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin is practically foaming at the mouth. "Me kill stupid dirty humans!"
[2026/01/22 16:18] Sapphire: She puts her sword to it's neck. "Have you no concern for you own life? What are you defending that's not worth seeking terms for?"
[2026/01/22 16:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin: "Stuff you! Orca receive me!" He lunges towards the sword, slicing his own neck.
[2026/01/22 16:19] Sonja Bikergrrl: If you go other questions, you'll need a ouija board
[2026/01/22 16:20] Sonja Bikergrrl: So, any other bright ideas?
[2026/01/22 16:21] Sapphire: "...." she frowns, letting the goblin finish themself. Does she know who 'Orca' is?
[2026/01/22 16:21] Sonja Bikergrrl: Goblin god, very bloodthirsty.
[2026/01/22 16:21] Mecha: Neopti is sitting down, cleaning the poo from her hands and eating.
[2026/01/22 16:21] Joe: Is it possible to lay-on-hands oneself in d&d ?
[2026/01/22 16:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: so... you can do something else, or, choose left or straight.
[2026/01/22 16:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: I presume so
[2026/01/22 16:22] Joe: "we should heal the injured before we progress"
[2026/01/22 16:22] Sonja Bikergrrl: ie., you
[2026/01/22 16:23] Joe: yes, anyone else injured?
[2026/01/22 16:23] Sonja Bikergrrl: although, Mecha is more injured
[2026/01/22 16:24] Sapphire: Ah yes. She leans down to apply Lay On Hands to Neopti to get her back up
[2026/01/22 16:24] Sonja Bikergrrl: already used that ability, Sapphire
[2026/01/22 16:25] Joe: i use lay-on-hands on Mecha
[2026/01/22 16:25] Sonja Bikergrrl: Mecha heals 2hp
[2026/01/22 16:25] Joe: 2hp/lvl thats 14 hp
[2026/01/22 16:25] Sapphire: hmmmmm
[2026/01/22 16:26] Joe: paladin lvl 7
[2026/01/22 16:26] Sapphire: so we've both spent our healing
[2026/01/22 16:26] Joe: is that how it works ?
[2026/01/22 16:26] Sapphire: other than our spells i suppose
[2026/01/22 16:26] Mecha: Neopti breathes a little better."Thanks human."
[2026/01/22 16:26] Sonja Bikergrrl: I guess we better wrap it there, see how you manage next week :-)
[2026/01/22 16:26] Sapphire: "We should find their boss before we slaughter the whole hive."
[2026/01/22 16:27] Joe: thanks for DMing Sonja!
[2026/01/22 16:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: Anytime, especially if you're going to be this amusing :-)
[2026/01/22 16:27] Sonja Bikergrrl: also, the party is level one
[2026/01/22 16:27] Mecha: Good game
[2026/01/22 16:27] Joe: ah im looking at the wrong character sheet
[2026/01/22 16:28] Mecha: /me gets out a hammer and eyes that D20, while pounding the palm of her hand with it
[2026/01/22 16:28] Sapphire: hmmmm, perhaps we should have these cubical d20s balance-checked....
[2026/01/22 16:29] Sonja Bikergrrl: they're fair... you rolls just suck :-p